You're not lost on your own
by Anyfey
Summary: After a two year break Maura starts to work again. Her first case being back is also her hardest and most emotional ever. Jane discovers feelings she never thought she could have. And the Rizzoli family is in danger to break even more.
1. Chapter 1

"Chapter 1"

"Returning to old ways"

It's been two years since Dr. Maura Isles adopted her little son Henry, named after the famous doctor Henry Gray who wrote every doctors bible „Gray's Anatomy", and it's been also two years since she stopped working as the Medical Examiner at the Boston Police Department. But now that Henry turned two she decided to start to work again, not only because she misses her job but also because she misses working with her best friend Jane Rizzoli. Not that Jane isn't with her and her godson Henry every free minute she can but Maura just really loved working with her and really misses the cases and as weird as it sounds the bodies.

Since Maura and also Jane are very paranoid about hiring a nanny, Maura asked Angela, Janes mom, to watch Henry during the time she and Jane had to work. Of course Angela agreed and already set up a little play corner for Henry in the cafeteria of the BPD where Angela works.

On her first day back basically nothing happened, Maura caught up on some open cases and the only new case that came in was a clear suicide. In her lunch break which she never took before she went up to the cafeteria to visit her son, who didn't even notice her because all other officers were standing around him and adoring him like they have never seen a toddler before. As she turned around to return to the morgue suddenly Tommy stood before her.

„Hey Maura" he said with that smirk that melted her heart three years ago before all that crap happened with Lydia, Mr. Rizzoli and Henry.

„What are you doing here?" Maura asked

„I want to see my son" Tommy answered as if it was the most natural thing.

„First of it's not sure you are the father and second you abondoned him just like Lydia did, do you really think I would just let you see him?" Maura said angrily and tried to get past him but Tommy grapped her wrist.

„Let her go, Tommy" Jane yelled across the room „And get the hell out of here"

„Jane Clementine Rizzoli, don't you say words like this when this little boy is in the room" Angela scolded her daughter.

Tommy chuckled still having his hand around Mauras wrist.

„Shut up" Jane hissed to her little brother.

„And you, Tommy, let go of Maura and leave, there is nothing anyone has to discuss with you, at least not here, maybe you could come around Mauras in the evening. But call first" Angela said to her youngest son.

„Okay, I'm gone" Tommy said and left

At 7 am Tommy still hasn't called and Maura thought about calling him but Jane talked her out of it. She said it's typical Tommy and there's nothing to worry about.

Even Angela agreed with her daughter, which was very uncommon especially when it comes to Tommy. So Maura went ahead and put Henry to sleep and came back into her living room. To her surprise Jane was still there.

„What are you still doing here?" Maura asked

„Are you still in love with Tommy?" Jane said to her own surprise with a lot of jealousy in her voice.

„No… maybe…. I don't know" Maura stuttered.

„You have to be kidding me!" Jane said in disbelief and left Mauras house without another word.

Jane didn't even know why she reacted the way she reacted at Mauras. But she didn't think about it that much she just jumped to the conclusion that she didn't want Tommy to hurt Maura and Henry in any way, but a little voice in the back of her mind her that there was also something else but Jane just didn't want to deal with thoughts like this.

Even an hour after Jane left Maura was still thinking about Janes outburst. She could've sworn there was a touch of jealousy in Janes voice. Could Jane really be in love with her or was it just that Tommy wasn't really boyfriend and especially not father material?. And Maura didn't even say she was still in love with him. With this thoughts in mind Maura wasn't able to fall asleep until way after midnight.

She woke up to a silent "Momma" from Henry over the babyphone. She rubbed her eyes and took a look at the digital clock on her bedside table.

„6:30," she thought „5 hours of sleep, this day should be interesting"

She went into Henry's room which was decorated with cars and planes, although Maura hated it to buy stereotypical things for him. But Angela insisted on decorating Henrys room and this is what came out of it. And he loved it, so Maura didn't really care anymore.

„Goodmorning, buddy" Maura said and kissed Henry on his forehead.

The boy streched his arms out for Maura to grab him. Maura hauled him up and kissed him again. He giggled.

„What are you laughing at, little man" Maura said laughing with him. „Are you ready for breakfast?"

„Yeah" Henry answered. She hated it when Henry said this word but he loved it, this was just one oft he words that Jane taught him. She even had the nerve to teach him to call Mauras tortoise a turtle.

As they entered the kitchen, Angela was already preparing breakfast.

Maura put Henry into his stool and went to the counter to help Angela.

„Did you and Jane have a fight last night? I heard her swear all the way back to the guesthouse." Angela said a little worried. She didn't want Jane and Maura to have a fight like they had 3 years ago.

„Yes, a little, she was outraged because of Tommy. She thinks I might think about going out with him, which I'm not." Maura answered.

Just as Angela wanted to reply, Mauras phone rang.

„Dr. Isles" she answered and went out of the kitchen.

„Angela? Can you take care of Henry. I have to go to a crime scene." Maura said when she entered the kitchen again.

„Sure honey" Angela replied

Maura went to take a short shower and got dressed. She gave Henry a kiss goodbye and went to her car. She was a little nervous because this was her first crime-scene in two years and she was not entirely convinced that she would be able to go through everything as smoothly as she did it before she had Henry.

As she pulled her blue Toyoata Prius into the parking lot of a Wal-Mart she already saw Frankie, Janes little brother, waiting there. He still hasn't got promoted to be a homicide detective, which was very hard on him. Something about his appearence let Mauras alert bells ring, something wasn't right here.

As she got out of the car, Frankie rushed to her.

„Is Jane on her way?" Frankie asked

„I don't know. Haven't talked to her since yesterday. Why what's wrong? You look horrible. Is it someone you know?" Maura replied worried.

„Yeah," Frankie answered with tears in his eyes „It's Tommy, Maura. It's Tommy!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry it took so long to put the second chapter on, but I was on holiday and I forgot the charger of my laptop, so I wasn't able to put it up... sorry, next chapter will be up earlier. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. **

* * *

"Chapter 2"

„Don't be afraid to fall, I'm right here to catch you"

Jane could still kick herself for what happened at Mauras the day before. In her opinion she sounded like a totally jealous wife. She really hoped that Maura didn't hear the jealous undertone in her voice because she was definitely not ready to tell her best friend that her feelings towards her wer long past „best friends" stage. And she had felt like this for quite a while now.

Right after Maura adopted little Henry two years ago Jane moved in with Maura to help her with the baby. During that time somehow she got to know a whole different side of Maura and she more and more fell in love with her. Of course she tried to date guys and get Maura off her mind but in the end all she thought about at night was the honey blonde doctor. It was about 6 months ago when she realized that there was no needing in denying it, she was totally, absolutely, 100% in love with Maura Dorothea Isles. And since then she was working on how to tell Maura without losing her as her best friend, because she really wanted to tell her although Jane was 100% certain that Maura wouldn't feel the same for her.

If she at least would have someone to talk to about stuff like that. Her brothers would probably only make fun of her and she was scared that her mother would not accept that her only daughter might be a lesbian or a bisexual or whatever she was right now. And she hasn't seen her father in a year, and even if he would be around she wouldn't talk to him about something like that. Korsak and Frost weren't really qualified either. She thought about talking to Riley, a fellow homicide detective and Frankies girlfriend, but she didn't really know her that well yet.

„Come on Rizzoli. You never gonna really be ready to tell her so you might as well do it today" she said aloud as she indicated to turn into the Wal-Mart parking lot.

„What? Tommy! Are you sure?... I'm sorry of course you are sure" said Maura shocked and pulled Frankie into a hug. Tears started swelling up her eyes, although she was so rough on Tommy last night she really liked him. She heard Frankie swallow his tears as he saw Jane approaching the parking lot.

„Janie is coming" Frankie said „I'm gonna go tell her, you examine the crime scene" and off he went. Maura thought about staying also but she wanted to leave the two oft hem alone and she also had work to do. So she went behind the Wal-Mart tot he the crime scene. There he was, Tommy, laying in a pool of his own blood. A little stuffed elephant laying next to him alongside a bouquet of flowers.

„Well he was sure I would be okay with him coming over" Maura thought feeling the tears swelling up again. She swallowed them and kneeled down to examine the body.

„Three stab wounds, one in the stomach, two in the shoulder and the throat was cut" Maura said.

„Found a knife" Frost said peeking through trashbags.

„Keep searching," Maura said shaking her head „Two different kind of knives were used."

„Well okay" Frost said putting the first bloody knife into a plastic bag, labeling it and diving right back into the the trash bags.

Maura found a white substance on Tommys jeans.

„Looks like cocaine" Korsak said shaking his head in disbelief. He never understood how Tommy could be so out of line with two siblings being cops. First he was in prison for running over a priest, then he leaves his possible son on Mauras doorstep and now it looks like he was into drugs and that those drugs may be the reason he was so brutally murdered.

„It looks like a white substance until I know for sure what it is, Seargent Detective Korsak" Maura said, she hated it when the Detectives guessed or jumped to conclussions without real scientific proof.

„Frankie…. What's wrong? Did you cry?" Jane asked confused as she saw her brother approaching her and not going with Maura. She never saw her little brother like that, he wasn't much of a cryer.

„Janie…" Frankie said, his voice breaking.

„What is it?" Jane asked again, a trace of annoyance and also concern in her voice.

„Janie… the victim… it's Tommy." Frankie finally told her, tears running down his face.

„What… Tommy?...no..no" jane stumbled. Her face turned pale. „Oh my god" she said as she sat down on the concrete ground leaning against her car. She started to cry. Frankie sat down next to her putting his bigs sister in an embrace.

After about 5 minutes of crying and cursing Jane got back up.

„Did you see it? Him… Did you see him?" Jane asked her brother.

„Yeah I did," Frankie said „It's not pretty"

„Oh shoot, I was so looking forward to see a pretty crime scene" Jane answered sarcastically and headed in the direction of the crime scene.

„Janie, wait, I don't think it's not a good idea…" Frankie started but he knew it wouldn't change Janes mind. So he followed her, to hold her if she breaks down again after seeing their little brother.

„Hey Maur" Jane said as she came closter and saw her best friend kneeling over her brothers dead body.

„Oh Jane" Maura said and got back on her feet putting her friend in a hug „I'm so sorry"

Jane felt the tears coming back, she didn't even fight to hold them back. And although she knew she shouldn't she looked down at her little brother. He was laying in a pool of his own blood, several stab wounds, his throat was cut and his face was beaten up.

„Oh Tommy, what did you get yourself into this time" Jane thought.

„How long?" Jane asked shortly, facing Maura.

„At least 6 hours" Maura said

A sudden wave of nausea stroke Jane and she once again sat down on the concrete this time leaning again the Wal-Marts back wall.

Jane started to sob again. Maura already finished with the first examination sat down next to her, stroking Janes back.

„I'm so sorry, Jane" Korsak said „So sorry you and Frankie had to see this. You guys will be pulled off that case immediately. And I will talk to Cavanaugh to give you and Frankie a week off. You should get home now and talk to your mother."

„Sure, thank you Vince" Jane said trying to get back up again but immediatly she felt the nausea coming back so she decided to stay where she was. Maura looked worried at her best friend.

„I'm gonna take you home now, Frankie can take your car home, you are definitely not in the condition to guide a vehicle right now." Maura said and put her arm around Janes waist to help her back on her feet.

Maura has never seen Jane like that, she always is very controlled and very seldom lets her guard down and shows that under that rough and tough surface there somewhere still is a little girl that just wants to be taken care of, to be coddled, to be protected although Jane would never admit that.

Maura put Jane carefully on the passenger seat of her Toyota Prius and went off to talk Frankie about what Korsak said and how he should take Janes car to Janes apartment.

Jane shook her head at the fact how helpless and vulnerable she felt right now. She still couldn't believe what she just saw, what happened. Not even a day ago her brother was still alive, she yelled at him, she didn't want to have him anywhere near her, her family, Maura and especially nowhere near little Henry.

The whole drive to Mauras house neither of the women said a word. Maura knew she had to leave Jane alone in situations like this. Jane was thinking about the last time she saw her brother, how she reacted to his sudden return and how hurt he looked when Maura and even their mother didn't even want to talk to him.

„Shut up" Jane said shaking her head as they turned into Mauras driveway.

„I… I didn't even say anything, Jane" Maura replied confused.

„No, Shut up …these were the last words I said to Tommy" Jane said sobbing.

Maura put her right on Janes lap, thinking about how she acted towards Tommy the day before.

„It's my fault, Maura… If I would've been okay with you and him dating he wouldn't…" Janes voice broke.

„No, Jane, sweetie, don't go there, " Maura said comforting."We probably wouldn't even lasted a month, you know I can be a real pain in the ass"

Jane smiled hearing something like that out of Mauras mouth.

* * *

**If you are wondering the name of the chapter is a line from the song "I won't let go" by Rascal Flatts, so is the Story title itself. **

**And I wanted to say that English is not my mother language and that there will be mistakes so please bear with me. **

**I would really appreciate it to get some more reviews. And improvement suggestions are always welcome too ;) **


	3. Chapter 3

I'm so sorry it took me so long again, but this chapter was really hard to write.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

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3

„I wish I was cold as stone, then I wouldn't feel a thing"

Jane was sitting on Mauras crazy expensive couch, sipping on a cold beer that Maura had in her fridge and watching some stupid talk show she didn't even really pay attention to. After Maura brought Jane to her house she had to go back to work, back to Tommys body. Jane was happy that her mother was at work, so she had at least 7 hours to prepare herself to tell her that her youngest son was brutally murdered in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Jane normally was good at talking with the families but this was something totally different, this was her family that has to suffer from this tragedy, this was her mother that would be crying and blaming herself although it wasn't her fault. She knew her mother would totally break down not only because of the obvious reason that her son was murdered but because when they last talked not even Angela was nice to him, and Angela always defended Tommy.

Jane was so caught in her thoughts that when the doorbell rang she didn't even realize it until the forth ring and even then it caught her by surprise so that she spilled the beer all over Mauras rug. She cursed at herself and got up to open the door and almost fall over Bass, Mauras tortoise, on the way there.

„Who is there?" Jane asked before she opened the door. She always thought that people who asked that were stupid and just paranoid but after Hoyt and Dennis Jane got a lot more careful and yes also a little paranoid.

„Frankie" her little brother answered.

She opened the door. Her brother looked just as exhausted as herself. He slip through the door and behind him Riley.

Jane kinda wished she would've a lover right now, but unfortunatly her love interest was a woman and Jane still hadn't have the guts to tell her about her feelings. And even if she would there was no chance that Maura would feel the same.

Riley put Jane into a hug. Jane really grew to love Riley over the last year since Frankie and her started dating.

„Frost and I got put on the case together. I promise to find these basterds who did this" Riley said as she pulled away from the hug.

„Thanks Riles," Jane said walking into the kitchen „Want a beer?"

Riley and Frankie nodded and walked over to the couch.

„What the hell" Riley said and jumped back as she almost fell over Bass who was chewing on the rug which was trenched in Janes beer.

„That's just Bass, Mauras turtle…. No tortoise… whatever. You haven't met him yet?" Jane asked surprised.

„Nope didn't have the pleasure yet" Riley answered laughing. „He seems to like rug with beer flavour"

„Oh shit," Jane exclaimed „Is he licking that? Shit, Maura is gonna kill me"

Jane ran into the living room to carry Bass away from the alcoholic rug. As she sat him down in his room he just hoped that he wouldn't suffer from any damage.

„Nice TV choice" Frankie teased as Jane came back into the living room earning a punch in the side from his girlfriend. He faked a wince.

„I wasn't even paying attention" Jane answered.

Riley left a few minutes later to work leaving the Rizzoli siblings alone. They cleaned the rug or at least tried to and drank some more beer, watched a random episode of Doctor Who and even „played" with Bass, although playing with a tortoise wasn't really that interesting but they managed to distract themselves from the days event, at least a little. As they day went by they got more and more nervous about what lays before them. They decided that Frankie should tell the news considering what happened with Jane earlier that day at the crime scene. She was happy that this was Frankies suggestion, she wouldn've wanted to force him to do it, she knows how difficult these conversations could be. Jane was briefing her brother on how to lead conversations like that, but he didn't even really pay attention to what his sister said. He knew that when he sits in front of his mother he won't remember any of this. He would just try to tell her as careful as possibly.

At 5:30 pm Frankie and Jane heard Angelas car in the driveway. Frankie took one deep breathe and walked out to get his mother into Mauras house because she usually just wents off to her guesthouse. Angela was surprised to see her son there and she knew something was up, of course she did. She could see that something was bothering Frankie, so without asking she went with him into Mauras beautiful house. As she saw Jane she got even more suspicious, it was odd that Jane wasn't at work, it was odd that Jane looked like a trainwreck. Angela felt panic rushing over her. And sat down at the kitchen table, little Henry on her lap.

„What's wrong?" Angela asked a little trace of panic in her voice.

Frankie sat down next to her. Jane took Henry out of her lap and went with him to his room.

„Ma," Frankie started tears swelling up as he saw his mothers concerned eyes „it's about Tommy." He heard his mother gasp. „You remember the crime scene Maura had to got to this morning? It was Tommy, Ma, Tommy was the victim" he wanted nothing more than a hug from his mom but he knew that he had to be strong, for his mother so he swallowed his tears and waited for her reaction. Angela didn't say anything, she didn't scream, didn't cry, she just sat there staring at him as if she didn't understand any of what Frankie just said. Frankie knew from Jane that this was a common reaction to news like this, his mother was in shock, once it faded she will cry, scream and blame herself for his death, that's what most mothers do, Jane said.

After a few minutes of silence Angela began to cry. Frankie pulled his mother into a hug fighting his own tears. „No, no, no" Angela whimpered between her sobs. Frankie kissed his mother on her head like she did so many times for him and his siblings. Jane joined both of them also fighting her tears. As Angela saw her she pulled her into a hug and Jane couldn't hold it any longer and she started crying.

When Maura came home the three Rizzolis sat on the couch, the tears were dried and they were watching TV. Jane was the first to see Maura and was happy to see her.

„Hey" she addressed the Rizzoli family and had a sad look on her face. Jane never thought about how it must be for her until this moment. She was in like with Tommy, even if it was so many years back. And he might be Henrys father. Jane got up and followed Maura into the kitchen.

„How are you?" Jane asked worried.

„I'm fine. It's just so awful. I never had anyone on my desk who I knew before, you know" Maura answered.

„Have you found anything I don't know yet?" Jane asked again, she just has to know.

„Cocaine…. on his jeans" Maura answered and stroked Janes arm.

Jane felt a shiver running down her back as Maura touched her, she couldn't believe her body was let her feel something like that right now after what she just heard. Her little brother was into drugs and that's most likely also the reason why he got killed. She shook her head. „Maura can I stay with you for a while? I really don't wanna be alone" Jane asked surprising herself for that thought. She never was afraid of being alone not even when Hoyt was after her. But this was something completely different, she didn't want to be alone because she was scared of breaking down and nobody would be there to comfort her and she also wanted to be close her mother if something happens to her.

„Sure, sweetie" Maura answered hugging her friend. „But I really have to go look after Henry now, haven't seen him all day" Maura said and pulled away from the hug.

„Sure, he was asking about you all evening. Oh and Maura… I spilled beer on the rug and Bass chewed on it. I hope it didn't do him any harm" Jane said with trace of guilt in her voice. Maura raised her eyebrow and went off to Henrys room.

As Maura came back into the living room half an hour later Frankie was gone. Maura sat down next to Angela, laying her left hand on Angelas knee. „I'm so so sorry, Angela" Maura said and hugged Janes mother, who more and more over the last few years become like a mother to her too. After they pulled away from the hug Angela was brave enough to ask what happened to her son. Maura told her about the stab wounds, his beaten-up face and the cut throat. She left out the part about the cocaine at least for this time. She didn't want to upset Angela more that she already is.

„Maura, promise me to try to do everything to find who did this to my baby" Angela said before she went off to bed.

„Sure, Angela Detective Frost, Riley, Detective Korsak and me are doing everything we can." Maura anwered smiling reassuringly. Angela looked at her thankfully and went to the guesthouse.

„So know that Ma is gone tell me everything you have til now" Jane asked her friend.

Maura told her that they didn't really have anything right now, the knife didn't have any fingerprints on it and there was no sign of finding the second knife. Besides the cause and the time of death and the cocaine on his jeans they didn't really have anything. Jane sighed in frustration and also went off to sleep.

„I'm coming with you to the morgue tomorrow, Maura" Jane said

„I don't think this is a good idea, Jane. You know there is a reason Korsak pulled you from the case" Maura responded worried.

„I just wanna see him one last time, Maura. I promise I won't break down again or interfere with anything" Jane said almost begging.

Maura agree eventually and the two women watched TV silently for a few hours.

Maura and Jane got up very early the next morning. At were surprised at seeing Angela already seeing in the kitchen making pancakes. She told them that after she left them the day before, her „boss" Stanley called that Angela could have a few days off.

After the breakfast Maura and Jane hurried up to get out of the house. Maura hated it to leave Henry at home and not seeing him until the evening. But she knew that Henry loved Angela and was very happy to spent time with her. And Angela also loved him like a grandchild. Which he could be and Maura wanted to find out if Tommy was the father of her adopted son.

„Jane are you sure you want to see him?" Maura asked before they entered the morgue.

„Yes, Maura I'm sure. I'm ready. I'm not going to freak out" Jane responded more trying to convince herself than Maura.

As Jane saw her little brother laying on the desk she knew why family members shouldn't see the victims like that. It was horrible but she fought her tears and got closer to the desk.

„What happened Tommy? I'm so sorry for everything I said. Goodbye, I love you" Jane said to her dead brother and stroke him through his hair. She heard the morgue doors open and turned around.

„Hey Jane what are you doing here?" Frost asked surprised and also worried.

„I just wanted to say goodbye to my brother" Jane responded her voice breaking from fighting her tears. „Gosh I really wish I was one of those Cybermen from Doctor Who right now"

Frost chuckled but Maura just looked at them confused.

„Really, Dr. Isles? You don't know Dr. Who?" Frost asked surprised.

„No I don't, sorry. So what are those Cybermen things?"

„Roboter typed things who don't feel anything. Like Androids but not that human" Jane explained.

„Okay. Frost what did you want?" Maura asked the Detective.

„Oh yeah. Suzie found two types of blood on the knife. Tommys and from someone else. I just wanted to let you know." Frost answered.

„Well that's something to work with. At least we know the bloodtype of the killer" Maura responded „I think you both should get out of here now. I really have to do the second autopsy and Jane I don't think it's not a good idea if you are here for that"

„Yeah I guess you're right" Jane saw that Maura raised her eyebrows in surprise that Jane agreed with her.

„See you at home" Maura said when Jane and Frost went out of the morgue.

Jane smiled at hearing that. She loved how that sounded. She just hoped that this lays in her and Mauras future. A relationship, a home together.

„Whatcha smiling at Rizzoli?" Frost asked.

„Oh nothing" Jane responded.

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A/N: So I tried to make the chapter longer but it's really hard for me because I think I really start to ramble after a while. Especially the part about Bass at the beginning. I don't know I kinda like it though because I just tried to bring a little more life in. Tell me what you think about it.

The chapter title is from the song "Cold as stone" by Lady Antebellum.

Reviews are always appreciated ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**So okay this chapter almost wrote itself, after the last one I really thought I hit a wall because it took me ages to finish the last one. But it's back =D, Thank you for the reviews I really appreciate it. And I just want to clarify that I didn't kill Tommy because I don't like hime, actually I love Tommy but idk why I killed him off. xD So just to keep you a heads up. The scenerio I wrote for Tommys death is very random like really random and comes completely out of the blue. I really didn't know how the murder happened when I started writing it but this solution came in my dream and I just had to use it... I had to xD Also we are getting closer to Jane telling Maura about her feelings but not this chapter and not the next one. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. **

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"Chapter 4"

„I wonder if she knows she's all I think about at night"

Half an hour later Jane was at her apartment picking up some things she needed for her stay at Mauras. She also grabed her little pet tortoise Boggs, who was named after Wade Boggs, Janes favorite baseball player who played for the Red Sox when she was a teenager, which Maura gave to her after the Hoyt incident about 5 years ago. She really had no idea what she should do to distract herself, she couldn't possibly be sitting in front of the TV the whole day again. She decided to take Henry to the zoo, and of course she wouldn't tell Maura because she really was against wild animals being held in captivity.

After she unloaded all her stuff at Mauras house, she called Frankie to go to invite him to come with her and Henry to the zoo. Frankie also happy to get a little distraction agreed and they met half an hour later at the Boston Zoo.

„What if Maura finds out?" Frankie asked teasingly

„If she finds out she finds out because Henry tells her and she is not gonna freak out in front of him, so I'm save" Jane answered.

As they wandered from enclosure to enclosure Jane told Frankie that she went to see Tommy and that Suzie found a different type of blood on the knife. Frankie was surprised that Jane was able to go to see Tommy, he told her that he also wanted to go but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. Jane also asked if Riley told him anything that Maura didn't know.

„You know she is not supposed to talk about this, right?" Frankie responded surprised because his sister normally was the one who reminded everyone what they were and weren't supposed to do.

„Yeah, sure I know but I just want…" Jane started

„…to know. Yeah me too, Janie" Frankie ended her sentence put his arm around Janes shoulder and kissed her on the head.

Anoter hour went by and Henry was admiring every single animal and tried to memorize the name of every single one of them. Around noon they sat down at the sandwich joint and Henry fell straigt asleep in his stroller after he ate the peanut butter and fluff sandwich that Jane packed for him, another thing Maura shouldn't know about.

„You know Maura wants to make a paternity test today, to see if Tommys the father. I kinda hope he is" Jane said.

„Kinda hope? I really hope he is. Ma would be crushed if he isn't. And imagine if Pop would find out that he is his son and would want custody or something." Frankie answered.

„Oh my god, Pop …. no one even called him yet," Jane exclaimed „or do you think Ma did? Should I do it now? I haven't talked to him since Christmas"

Jane searched her „convertible satchel", as Maura calls it, for her phone. After she found it she hesitated.

„Should I do it, Janie?" Frankie asked thoughtfully.

„No, you told Ma. I'm gonna tell Pop." Jane answered but Frankie heard in her voice that she rather wanted him to do it.

„Hey Pop, it's Jane. How are you?" She started carefully. After her dads apparently very long answer to a very casual question she said „Daddy I have to tell you something… it's about Tommy," she could her father sigh „he's dead, daddy, he was found dead yesterday." She hear her dad sigh on the other line and suddenly regreted it that she told him on the phone. After the shock faded she heard her father say „What happened?" in a voice so full of grief that just because of that a wave of sadness rushed over Jane. „We don't know yet." Jane answered almost apologeticly.

The only thing Frank Sr. was able to say was that he was on his way to Boston.

The rest of the day went by very uneventful. After the phonecall Jane, Frankie and Henry went back to Mauras house.

„I'm so gonna go back to work tomorrow" Frankie said as he left.

„Yeah, me too" Jane responded she hated it sitting on her ass all day and do nothing productive at all. And if she was in the Headquaters she would at least be able to catch a little bit of what was happening in the investigation of Tommys murder.

When it was time for Henry to go to bed Maura was still not at home, which was actually good news because that means that they found something and Maura simply wasn't able to get away. So Jane tucked Henry in and read him a story and although he was a little nervous that his mamma wasn't there he fell a sleep very soon.

Jane went to bed pretty early too, although she was exhausted she could fall asleep because her mind wouldn't shut up. She thought about Maura and she remembered that she sweared to herself that she wanted to tell Maura about her feelings the day before but now she decided to postpone this until after the case was solved even after Tommys funeral, but she really had to talk to someone about it otherwise she would explode. So many unspoken feelings couldn't possibly be good for her.

When Maura came home Jane was fast asleep, and Maura was happy about it, because what they found out that day was really something and she wanted to wait for the right moment to tell Jane about it. If there even was a right moment.

The next morning Jane was up early and decided to prepare breakfast. When Maura came into the kitchen with little Henry on her arm she was surprised to see Jane making breakfast

„When did you come home last night" Jane asked flipping the pancakes like her mother taught her.

„Around 11" Maura answered putting Henry in his seat. „We found something yesterday but I really don't wanna talk about it at breakfast. I tell you later"

„Well okay" Jane said placing a plate with bunny shaped pancakes in front of Henry.

„Bunny" the toddler exclaimed in joy.

Maura smiled. „Oh something I can tell you. I made the paternity test yesterday. Tommy is the father"

„You have no idea how relieved I am. By the way we totally forgot to call my dad to tell him. I did it yesterday. He sounded so devasted" Jane said

„Who sounded devastated?" Angela asked as she entered Mauras kitchen through the back door just like she does every day.

„Daddy, after I told him what happened" Jane answered.

After breakfast Jane and Maura sat down and Maura told Jane everything that they found out. She told her about the blood they found on the knife and that they didn't find any match, that they found a fingerprint on Tommys leather jacket and that the fingerprint belonged to Giovanni. Jane sighed at this point. She knew that Giovanni was a little douchy sometimes and not really the brightest but she could never imagine him being a murderer. But Maura calmed her down immediatly just to drop the second bomb. After half an hour of interview Giovanni without answere he finally admited that he and Tommy were lovers and that they got into a fight because Giovanni saw Tommy leave the Wal-Mart with flowers. After Tommy explained everything they made up and made out in the trash area of the Wal-Mart. „At midnight?" Jane asked. Maur explained that they were somewhere else before and that they had to go back to the Wal-Mart because Tommy left his car there and that they made up during the drive to the parking lot and when they arrive there they went behind the store to make out. Jane couldn't help but laug hat the the image of her brother and Giovanni being a couple. Giovanni of all people, he was seriously the last one who Jane would've suspected to be gay. Her brother on the other hand… she always thought there was some kind of gay or at least bisexual touch in him. Also Maura was laughing. After the women calmed down Maura continued. She said that there were two man coming towards them, that they said some comments about Giovanni and Tommy being gay and that it's wrong and disgusting and stuff like that and suddenly both guys had a knife. They knocked Giovanni over and he was only concious for a little while after that. He saw that Tommy started to fight with the guys and he saw one of them stab Tommy in the stomach, then he passed out.

„And what about the cocaine?" Jane asked.

„Well it was neither Tommys nor Giovannis, both had no drugs in their system for at least 6 month. So I guess it was from one of the attackers." Maura answered.

„Could Giovanni describe the guys?"

„Only that they were afro-americans and very tall" Maura said.

„Well that is something" Jane said shaking her head at what she just heard.

As Jane arrived at headquaters she felt all eyes on her. Everyone had this look of pity on their faces. She ignored it and went straight to the homicide division.

„Hey Jane," Korsak greeted her „What are you doing here?"

„I just can't stay at home,Vince. I really need to be distracted." Jane answered.

„Well you could go over some cold cases or something. Did Maura tell you what we found out yesterday" Korsak asked Jane could see that he was holding back a laugh.

„Yeah she did. And there's nothing to laugh about, okay" Jane said a little too harsh

„Where are Barry and Riley?" she asked.

„In the streets to maybe find someone who saw something." Korsak answered.

Jane sat down on her desk and went over some other cases which didn't please her at all. She would much rather be in the steets finding Tommys murderers but she knew she shouldn't work the case. She would get way to emotional and maybe risk that a suspect confesses.

A few hours later Riley and Frost came back. Frost went straight to his computer greeting Jane shortly and researching. Riley took the time to give Jane a kiss on the cheek and to explain what they found out. She said that an employee of the gas station vis-à-vis the Wal-Mart saw a car leave the parking lot at around quater past midnight. He was able to remember the license plate. He said that he thought that car was suspicious because they drove really fast and he heard the driver curse.

„Got it" Frost exclaimed. „The car belongs to a Jermaine Nelson. He lives in Beacon Hill. Well let's go get this asshole"

An hour later Jane saw Frost, Korsak and Riley escorting two afro-american men into the interview room. Jane went after them to watch the interview behind the one-way mirror. She saw Maura taking a blood sample from the bigger one who had a cut along his underarm. Jane was scard that Maura would get hurt whil doing it because the dude just wouldn't sit still. But eventually Maura came out of the room and went straight into the crime lab to compare the blood sample with the blood the found on the knife and apparently also on Tommys shoes, what Jane just heard from Korsak as he told the suspects. Both of them didn't say one word. Jane heard the door to open, she hoped it was Maura but she knew that something like that would take at least 4 hours. As she looked at the door she saw Giovanni come in. He looked just as exhausted as Jane herself.

„Hey Jane" he said casually but he looked like he wanted to ask something.

„Hey Giovanni. I know it if you want to ask that" Jane responded.

„Oh yeah." Giovanni said letting his head hang down.

Jane never saw her childhood friend like that. Not even after Paola Bellini dumped him right before their prom.

„Were those the guys that attacked you and Tommy" Jane asked.

„I don't know Jane" Giovanni whimpered.

„Giovanni, look at them, concentrate. Do you remember anything? Did you notice anything? Every little thing counts?"

Giovanni focused on the two men in the interview room. After a few minutes he said „One of them had a tattoo on his underarm. A dog I think. One of those ugly ones"

„That's something we can work with." Jane said and wrote Frost a text.

As an answer she got a yes.

„Do you think it is them Rizzoli?" Giovanni asked.

„Yeah I think it's them." Jane answered smiling.

3 and half hours later Maura returned and said that the blood of the suspect and the blood on the knife matched. Both of them still didn't say anything until Korsak and Frost escorted them out of the interview room and they saw Giovanni.

„Look the other fag. Should've killed him too" the bigger one said. Korsak pushed him further and Frost followed him with the other one.

„Hey Giovanni," Jane said as she saw him turn around to leave „I'm so sorry". She hugged him and for the first time since she knew him he didn't try to grab her ass.

As Jane and Maura got home that day, Angela was sitting at the kitchen table talking to Frank Sr. Until that day she had never seen her father cry. When Angela asked how Tommy was killed Jane hesitated at first to thell the whole truth and wanted to leave the part about Giovanni out of it but then she decided to test the waters and look how her parents react when they learn that one of their kids is gay. To her surprise they took it quite well, Angela even said she is going to visit Giovanni the next day, although she hasn't talked to him since he hit on her 2 years ago.

On the next day, a Saturday, Mauras mother visited, so Jane decided to leave them alone. She wandered around town and eventually found herself in front of Rileys apartment. Riley opened the door and was not at least surprised to find Jane there.

„I really need to talk to someone" Jane said as she sat down on Rileys couch „Is Frankie here?"

„No he isn't. What's wrong?" Riley responded.

„First of all I want to thank you. You know for catching that son of a bitch. Both those sons of bitches."

„I didn't really do much, you know" Riley said. „So what to you want to talk about?" She digged.

„You have to promise me that you don't tell anyone, okay" Riley nodded

„Okay," Jane started and told her brothers girlfriend everything about how she fell in love with Maura and how she doesn't know what to do anymore. She said that she was afraid, no that she was absolutely certain that Maura wouldn't feel the same for her. That Maura was everything Jane thought about when she didn't distract herself with something else. And that she wanted nothing more than be with Maura and raised Henry with her.

Riley listened to her talk, didn't judge her just like Jane hoped.

„I think you should tell her, soon. It's always better to have a clear answer than this uncertainty." Riley said as Jane stopped talking.

„Yeah, I know… I know" Jane said „Thank you for listening and please please promise that you don't tell anyone especially not Frost or Frankie"

„I promise. I would never" Riley said and hugged Jane.

When Jane first met Riley a little over two years ago she never thought that they would become such good friends, but they did and now Jane was very happy about it.

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**A/N: Again I really apologize for the random random death of Tommy, but like I said I dreamt it and it was just too funny not to use xD As you might have noticed it's again longer than the pervious one which I'm very proud of because I really struggled to even come to 1000 words in the first one. If you have any suggestions please leave them and reviews are always appreciated ;)**

**Oh yeah the chapter title is from the song "Teardrops on my guitar" by Taylor Swift with a slight modification to make it fitting for Maura**


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter was a lot harder to write than I thought. I thought I would just type some fake memories but yeah it isn't that simple to make up memories. xD I think this chapter is a little slow but I re-wrote it three times and that's the best that came out of it. Also Tommys middle name is made up and I just took Colin Egglefields birthday since we have no idea when Tommy was born. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the plot**

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**Chapter 5**

**„Sipping on that memorylane"**

A week has gone by since Tommys murderers got caught, a week since Jane found out that her little brother was gay, a week since she learned that Tommy was in a relationship with Giovanni Gilberti, a childhood friend of the Rizzoli siblings who never left out an opportunity to flirt and hit on women, and also a week since Jane told Riley about her feelings towards Maura. Riley gave her the advice to tell Maura as soon as possible and Jane knew she was right but Jane just had no idea how she should start a conversation like that. She had no idea how Maura would react, she didn't want to ruin their friendship. Riley told her that when she was in High School she fell in love with a girl also, her name was Peyton. Riley told Peyton about her feelings towards her and although Peyton didn't feel the same for Riley they kept being friends and they still are. This gave Jane a slight bit of hope, because the only thing she feared more than the rejection was to lose Maura completely, do not have Maura in her live anymore. She hated to admit it but she had no idea what she would do without Maura in her live and she also had no idea what she had done all these years before she met her. She was thinking back at the time when Maura and her had a fight and were horrible to eachother after Jane shot Mauras biological father 3 years ago. She hated it when she has to hate Maura.

As if all those thoughts weren't enough she also had to plan Tommys funeral. Therefore she spent a hell of a lot of time with Giovanni this past week. Giovanni told her about the last two years of Tommys life. She herself and also her whole family hasvn't seen Tommy since Lydia gave birth to Henry. She learned that Tommy and Giovanni had been together for almost a year and that Tommy got a good job and a litte apartment together with Giovanni, which was adorable. It looked like Tommy finally got his life together and all he wanted to do was getting back in touch with his family and meet his supposed son until he got brutally murdered by some dumb idiots who didn't like the idea of two men being in love. Jane never understood why hate crimes like this happen. She just couldn't understand why someone would murder a complete stranger just because this someone doesn't agree with how someone else lives their life.

One day before Tommys funeral Maura invited the Rizzoli family over for dinner, which wasn't such a good idea after all. Angela and Frank got into a huge fight over Tommy and him being gay. After the first shock of Tommys death faded Frank Sr. wasn't okay with Tommy being gay at all. He said it was a disgrace to the family and that he is not gonna attend the funeral. He even kind of indicated that he thought it was Giovannis fault what happened. Angela didn't really care about Tommys sexual orientation, she said, because what she heard from Giovanni that Tommy was happy since he was with him and that was all that mattered to her. Even Frankie didn't make any snide remarks about what they found out, which totally surprised Jane.

After the dinner disaster Angela went to bed early and Frankie and Riley left eventually. Jane decided to stay a while and let what happened sink in.

„I just can't believe Pop would act like that, I mean Tommy was his son" Jane said shaking her head in disbelief.

„You know a lot of catholic families abandon children who are homosexual. Especially if it's a boy" Maura stated.

„I know, Maur, I know. I just never thought my father would be like that" Jane said.

„I should've known, about Tommy, you know. He played with dolls and dressed up as girl a lot when he was a kid." Jane laughed.

„That doesn't indicate homosexuality" Maura responded „There is a theory which says that the more older brothers you have the bigger the chance that you are gay"

„So you say it's Frankies fault?" Jane asked smiling

„Yeah, kind of" Maura responded „So, tell me about Tommy. How was he as a child?"

Jane lay back on Mauras couch and started „You know he was honestly the cutest kid. When Ma first came home with him I would just stare at him all day. He was so adorable. And Frankie was so jealous. As Tommy got older we seriously became inseperable, I would take him everywhere with me. And all of my friends just really loved him, because he was just so likeable. And he got away with everything. I remember this one time he ditched school and when mom asked why he just said he wanted to go and get something for her birthday and she totally bought it. And like I said he played with the dolls my parents bought for me and I never played with. And he wasn't even ashamed of it. Whenever someone said something about it he would just ignore them. Maur, we used to be so close. When he had a nightmare he wouldn't go to Ma and Pop he always came to me. I was the one who he always told everything to until I decided to go to the Police Academy. Gosh he was so mad at me for doing this. After that he just found himself so much trouble, he started to hang out with some really weird guys and oh my god he had one girlfriend after another. He was a total chick magnet."

Maura chuckled, she knew how charming Tommy was and how heartmelting his smile was. And she caught herself thinking about how it would've been if they really did start dating all these years back. Would he still be alive?

„Maura!" Jane ripped Maura out of her thoughts.

„Sorry, what did you say?" Maura said apologeticly.

„Just that I wished he would've come back to us earlier." Jane said swallowing the tears that start to swell up again.

„I guess he was scared Jane, scared of what his family would think about him being with Giovanni." Maura stated stroking Janes back to comfort her.

Jane nodded and felt a sizzle going down her spine where Maura touched her. All she wanted to do was kiss her, tell her that she loves her but she couldn't, not before the funeral anyways. She needed Maura to be by her side that following day. She couldn't risk not having her there. Jane was too weak to fight her tears. The constant holding them back over the last week just were too much so she just broke out in tears.

The next day Jane awoke in Mauras bed. Looking around her she saw Maura still sleeping, her honey blonde locks draped around her had like she was on the set of a photoshooting. „How can she look so good while she is sleeping" Jane thought getting up as silently as possible to not wake her best friend. As she left the bedroom she heard Henry cry out. She entered his room to see the toddler standing upright in his crib about to crawl over the bars. „No Henry" Jane cried out sprinting over to her nephew grabbing him before he was about to fall. „Aunt Janie" Henry squealed in joy as he saw Jane. „Hey Buddy," Jane said and kissed him on his forehead „You almost fell out of there, don't try to do this again, please" He looked at her with his big greenish-blue eyes and smiled that cute little smile. „He looks so much like Tommy," Jane thought „Why did I never notice this before"

With Henry on her arm she went into the kitchen, put him in his seat and greeted her mother who was already making breakfast.

„Where's Maura?" Angela asked

„She's still asleep. You know little Henry here tried to climb out of his crib. He almost fell out I was able to catch him before he did" Jane told her mother.

„Just like Tommy, he fell out of his crib more than once" Angela responded.

„I know," Jane said and laughed „Mom, did you ever notice how much Henry looks like Tommy?"

„Yeah, yeah I did. He's gonna be handsome, this little guy" Angela said and kissed Henry on his head.

„Yeah he will. Just like Tommy." Jane said and sighed frustrated of the thought that Henry would never get to know his father. And also of the thought that Tommy had never seen his son, which is totally her fault and she knew it. Maura would've eventually given in when Tommy showed up at headquarters if Jane handn't medled in.

The funeral started at 5 pm. A lot of people came, most of them Jane nor the other Rizzolis had ever seen. Jane talked to a few of Tommys work colleagues and was surprised to find out that they knew everything about her, Frankie and their parents, which let her guilty concious built up inside her more and more. She realized she was the one who pushed Tommy out of her life, they all did and not vice-versa.

Jane spotted Giovanni in the far back of the church and walked over.

„What are you doing all the way back there?" Jane asked.

Giovanni swallowed hardly to fight back his tears. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, which he probably hadn't. „I don't know, Jane. I don't really belong here" he said. „Of course you do Giovanni, you were with him when none of us were. You made him happier than anyone ever," Jane said, surprised because she never thought she would ever feel so much pity and gratitude for Giovanni „Come, sit with us." As she saw the hesitation in Giovannis eyes she added „Don't worry Pop is not here and I guess he is not going to come at all." She wanted to sound upbeat about that but she was disappointed and seriously disgusted by her fathers behaviour.

The funeral went by very quickly, too quickly Jane thought as she stood in front of Tommys grave.

_Thomas Antonio Rizzoli_

_9 February 1980 – 1 May 2014_

_Beloved brother and son_

Jane read the incraving on the for the millionth the time. She still couldn't quite believe it. Again the tears creept up on her again and she collapsed to the ground.

„I'm so sorry Tommy.I'm so sorry you didn't trust me enough anymore to tell me how happy you were. I'm sorry we all pushed you away. I promise I will tell Henry everything about you, once he is old enough to understand. Te amo, fratello. Mi mancherai" Jane rarely spoke italian but when she did she only did with Tommy. That was their thing. Frankie never bothered to learn the language so it was like she and Tommy had their own secret tongue. All the memorys swept over Jane and she just sat in the moist grass in front of her little brothers grave for hours.

It was 9 pm as Maura heard her doorbell ring. At this hour she knew it only could be Jane. Involintarily a smile came to her face. She opened the door.

„Hey Maur," Jane said ecstatically „I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"

„Sure, you're a little hyped up. What's up?" Maura asked surprised by the peppy attitude of her best friends when just a few hours ago she was walking around like a zombie.

„Can I grab a beer?" Jane asked. That's all what she needed now to give her that little last kick to tell Maura.

„Sure, you know where to find it." Maura responded sitting down on her couch, curiously waiting for Jane to come back and tell her what she wants to tell her.

Not even a minute late Jane was sitting next to Maura, her bottle of beer already half-emptied.

„Maur, I really have to tell you something. And I guess you're not going to like it but it's spooking around my head for so long and I just have to tell you. And please whatever you think about it don't judge me..."

„Jane, Jane calm down,you're rambling" Maura interrupted.

„Sorry, yeah. For christs sake why am I so nervous?" Jane said fidgeting with her fingers.

„Okay I'm just gonna tell you," Jane started again. Taking one deep breath. "Maura I'm in love with you. For so long now"

Maura couldn't say anything. She just stared at Jane. Jane took the chance and kissed Maura. Maura was so overwhelmed she couldn't even think straight. But she knew she liked it. She didn't pull away from the kiss.

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**A/N: So there it is Jane told Maura. To you think Maura will reflect Janes feelings, or is she going to reject her? **

**What Jane said in italian is translated to: "I love you, brother. I will miss you" **

**As always suggestions on making it better would be amazing and reviews are always appreciated ;) **

**The chapter title is from the song "Dreams" by Gavin DeGraw**


	6. Chapter 6

**So there we go chapter 6. Finally some Rizzles is about to happen. As all of you so strongly demanded right from chapter one ;) xD It's almost 1 am, I have school tomorrow and I'm sitting here posting this xD. Wanna know why? Because I think I let you guys down with my last chapter. And I'm terribly sorry. I hope this one is better.**

**Disclaimer: I don't anything besides the plot.**

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"Chapter 6"

"And we tried so hard that we fucked it up"

Jane felt Mauras lips against hers. She couldn't quite believe that this was happening right now. All these months wondering, worrying and longing now just seemed stupid and pointless. It was so simple. If she would've been in her right mind she would have thought it was too simple. But she wasn't in her right mind, Jane wasn't thinking at all. She felt Mauras hand on her hip and put her own behind Mauras head. They were falling deeper and deeper in the kiss. Slightly at first it soon was as passionate as it gets. As they broke away from the kiss to catch some air Jane went straigt for Mauras neck, kissing it softly. „Jane" Maura moaned grabbing the hem of Janes shirt, Jane got the hint and removed the shirt immediatly, encourging Maura to do the same. Soon both women only were in their bra and panties. Kissing again they went for Mauras bedroom.

As Maura awoke the next day it was only 5 am. She looked around and found Jane laying next to her, naked. She checked, she herself was naked aswell. Suddenly it hit her what happened the night before. She slept with her best friend. Her only friend. Maura had no idea how it happened though. After Jane told her that she was in love with her for a long time she didn't have any time to think before Jane surprised her with the kiss. Maura sure as hell liked the kiss and everything that followed but now that she was sitting there, naked next to her best friend also naked she thought that this maybe wasn't such a good idea after all. Maura got up throwing her her rope over her naked body and silently went out of the bedroom. When she entered the living room she got reminded of last night once again. There were clothes laying around everywhere. Maura swiftly grabbed the pieces and put it in the bedroom. She thought about what if Angela found the clothes. She sure would've been able to see that these were Janes clothes. Maura set down with a cup of her favorite tea, thinking about everything.

_Jane is in love with me. That's not something she says easily about someone. She must've known it for quite a while. She is in love with me. Why? Oh my god we slept with eachother. Why did I let this happen? Am I in love with her? Oh god I don't know. I sure enjoyed being with her. But is this really what I want? _

Mauras thoughts went like this for about an hour. She didn't come out of it with an answer. Suddenly she heard laughter out of Henrys room. Janes laughter. As Maura entered her sons room she smiled at the sight of Jane and Henry cuddling. And for a short moment she thought about a life with Jane. Soon Jane noticed Maura standing in the doorway.

„Good morning, gorgeous" Jane said jumping on her feet, seating Henry back in his crib and placing a kiss on Mauras lips. Which snapped Maura right out of her thoughts.

„M… Morning" Maura stumbled. „Good morning little man" she said heading towards Henrys crib.

„Momma" he squealed throwing his arms in the air indicating for Maura to lift him.

„My mom is picking him up at eight, Jane, then we really have to talk about you know what" Maura said before she lifted Henry and went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for her son.

As Constance left with Henry Jane was pacing back and forth in Mauras living room.

„Jane, please sit" Maura said it already. Jane forced herself to sit down, she knew this wasn't going to end well.

„Jane, I …" Maura started „What happened yesterday. I don't know… I'm sorry, Jane. But I don't know if I feel like you do. I love you, but just as my friend, my best friend, like a sister maybe. I love you you have to believe me. I'm so sorry Jane. I shouldn't have built up your hope like that." Maura spilled out, a single tear rolling down her cheek. Jane was speechless, for the first time in her life she was absolutely speechless. She just looked at Maura as if she hadn't understood anything she just said. A few moments later she found her voice again „But… yesterday… you liked it … I thought…" Janes voice broke.

„I'm sorry, Jane" Maura said again putting her hand on Janes knee.

„No, Maura …. don't … don't touch me, please, just don't" Jane said swallowing her tears. She jumped to her feet and left Mauras house. Maura chased after her „Jane! Jane! Wait! Please!" she yelled after her best friend. But Jane didn't turn around. Jane didn't even look back. Maura went back into her house and collapsed on her couch. When she thought about Janes face, the pain in her eyes she started to cry. She broke Janes heart and all she could do was to leave her alone. She was just so damn scared that she lost Jane forever, she couldn't imagine her life without Jane. Jane was the first real friend she ever had and she just blew it. Jane would never talk to her again.

Jane drove a little while until she pulled into a vacant parking lot and just cried. She didn't even think she had any tears left but she did. She heard her phone buzz on the passenger seat.

„Rizzoli" she answered her voice thick from tears.

„Jane, it's me. Are you okay? Maura called and she said you left in anger. She just wanted to know if you're okay and didn't get in an accident" she heard Riley say.

„Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Physically at least" Jane said and sniffled.

„Come over and tell me what happened" Riley said softly.

„Okay, I'm there in a few" Jane said thankfully.

15 minutes later she arrived at Rileys. Riley greeted her with a beer in her hand. That's exactly what Jane needed right now. A shoulder to cry on and an ice-cold beer. After she emptied her beer she started to talk about what happened. „I totally blew it. Well, I told her I'm in love with her. And then I didn't even let her react at all I just kissed her and she didn't pull away and one thing led to another and then I slept with her"

„You what?" Riley said shaking her head in disbelief. „And then what?" Riley added.

„Well after her mother picked up Henry this morning she said we have to talk about what happend. And she said she liked what happened yesterday but she just loves me as her best friend. And she shouldn't have built my hope up like that." Jane explained.

„How was it?" Riley asked „You know sleeping with a woman? Did you like it?"

„It was actually amazing, Riles. I liked it … a lot." Jane laughed. She loved Riley for not trying to overly comfort her by hugging and apologizing.

„Yeah I did do. But Frankie is just…." Riley started.

„Riley stop. I don't wanna know anything and I mean anything about my little brothers sex life. Thank you." Jane interrupted. And for the rest of the day Jane didn't even think about Maura.

A week later Jane and Maura still haven't spoken much. Only at work, and only about work.

„How is Henry?" Jane asked one day after Frost left the morgue.

„He's good. He misses you." Maura said.

„I miss him too. If you want to have an evening off bring him by, I would love to spend some time with him" Jane responded not believing how awkward this conversation was.

„I miss you too, Jane" Maura said.

„You know my biggest fear was that you and I wouldn't be friends anymore after I told you because you couldn't handle it. Maybe judging me about my love for you. But actually it's me right know who can't handle to see you Maura." Jane said leaving the morgue. Maura was totally bummed what just happened. She couldn't just stay there anymore. She had to get out. The autopsy for the day was done, she picked up Henry from the daycare center he went to now and just went home.

As soon as Jane set foot into her apartment that afternoon her telephone rang. _Please don't let it be Maura_ she thought. She looked at her phone. It was Riley.

„Hey Riles, what's up?" Jane answered the phone.

She heard Riley sniffle. „Frankie and I … we broke up. Can I come over?"

„Sure, sweetie." Jane said and heard Riley already hanging up before she could add anything else.

15 minutes later Riley was there totally distraught. She looked like she was crying for several hours.

„What happened? Do I have to kill him?" Jane asked.

„No," Riley said a little smile on her lips „I asked him to move in with me. And he said no. We got into a really huge fight which later had nothing to do with the original subject and all of a sudden I just blurted out „Well fine I guess that's it then" And he said „Yeah that's it" and he left" Riley told sobbing every now and then.

„Oh Riles" Jane said and put her friend into a hug, comforting stroking her back. „I'm sorry"

As Riley fell asleep on Janes couch, she decided to pay her little brother a visit.

„Francesco Mario Rizzoli are you out of your mind? Are you crazy?" Jane yelled at her brother after he opened the door and let her in.

„What the hell, Jane?" Frankie asked „Oh, Riley told you"

„Yeah, Riley told me. Why Frankie? Why don't you want to live with her? You love her don't you?" Jane asked

„Yeah, of course I love her, Jane. It's just I'm scared, okay, I have never lived with a girl before and besides shouldn't the man be the one to ask a question like that?" Frankie responded.

„You are even more stupid than I thought you was. It doesn't matter who asks. The bottom line is that you two love eachother, and Riley is neither Theresa who totally used you nor Lola who wanted to kill you. She is perfect for you, little brother. Don't you see it? And so what you're scared. Love is all about taking risks. And whatever else you two were arguing about I'm sure you can work it out. And by the way she is the first of your girlfriends who I like and Ma likes her too. Which means a lot don't you think" Jane ended her pep talk.

„Yeah, I guess. Do you think I should go to her right away?" Frankie asked.

„Totally, you should've seen her. She cried her eyes out Frankie. Don't ask me why but she loves you." Jane responded. He boxed Jane slightly on her upper arm. „Ow" she said smiling.

„Oh I just remember I wanted to ask you something. Do you know why Maura quit?" Frankie asked.

„SHE WHAT?" Jane yelled.

On the next morning Jane awoke very late. After Frankie told her that Maura quit her job as the chief ME she told Frankie about what happened with Maura, how she was in love with Maura and that she couldn't handle seeing Maura and that she told her that the day before. Surprisingly Frankie was very understanding and didn't make any jokes or snide remarks. After the talk Jane took Frankie with her to her apartment so he could sort things out with Riley. Which he did very quickly. Telling her he loves her and that he would in fact love to live with her. They swiftly left for Rileys apartment.

Jane got up. Still a little buzzed from all the beer she drank the night before. She went to get her mail. As she went through all the advertisments she found it. A letter saying simply „Jane" on it in Mauras beautiful handwriting. With shaking hands she opened the envelope.

_Dear Jane,_

_I'm sorry, for everything. I know I said it a thousend times and my words have probably already lost all meaning to you but I really mean it. I'm sorry for building your hopes up, for ruining everything. I know it was my fault, there is no denying in it. I just wanted to let you know that I've never been happier in my whole life than in those past 10 years we've been friends. I love you Jane, you were like the sister I never had. But I ruined it and I'm 's all I can say.I'm sorry.I have never felt more stupid in my life than I do right now._

_I've decided to move, Jane. I'm going to move to Amsterdam. My family has a house there. I'm gonna give you the freedom you need. You won't see me anymore. And again I'm sorry to take Henry from you but I really think it's the best. For you. For me. For everyone. And just once more I'm sorry to leave you with Pike._

_I love you and you know I miss you,_

_Maura_

Jane read the letter three times. She couldn't believe what it said.

_Damn it, fuck fuck fuck _she thought and opened another bottle of beer.

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**I know I know I know, don't shoot me. There is no Rizzles happy ending... yet. I swear it's coming. Soon. In my original version Jane and Maura did not sleep with each other but because you guys demanded Rizzles to happen I followed xD. Why does nobody comment on the Frankie/Riley pairing or Janes ongrowing friendship with Riley. I would love to hear your guys' opinion on that. So please if you have any suggestions for improvemtn please leave them as well as reviews. I appreciate it so much that you guys take your time to read it and leave a comment and I love every single one who follows my story.**

**The chapter title is from the song "Got it all wrong" by Wakey!Wakey!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Can't believe I'm already at chapter 7 and I'm still surprised that you guys are interested in my story. I love you guys... a lot ;). This chapter is a little short but I think it's good. It's only Maura this time. Because I think that the whole story so far is way to much in Janes view. We haven't seen much of Maura yet, so I hope you like ;) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the plot.**

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"Chapter 7"

"I've been a fool and I've been blind"

Maura sat on the plane, Henry curled up on her lap sleeping, tears running down her cheeks. But she knew leaving Boston was for the best, for Jane, for her for everyone. Of course Amsterdam was a little far to flee to but she just wanted a change and the idyllic landscape of The Netherlands just really attracted Maura at the moment. It was just the right place to sort out things like that. She just really needed a change, at least for a few months. And she wanted to make it easier for her and for Jane who so clearly stated that she didn't want to talk to Maura in a while. And Maura just couldn't handle it. She could handle seeing Jane but not talking to her other than about a case and somedays even don't see her at all. This past week has been one of the worst weeks of her life. And actually she wasn't expecting it to get better anytime soon.

Maura and Henry moved into one of her parents many European mansions in one of the richest neighborhoods in an adorable little outskirt of Amsterdam. Although it seemed crazy considering she would probably only stay a few months Maura decided to make a few changes to the house, paint a few walls, change furniture, plant some flowers and setting up a little playground for Henry in the backyard. Not because this changes were necessary but because Maura wanted a project to distract herself with from everything that had happened in the past couple of weeks with Tommy and Jane. Everything seemed so crazy in retrospect. Janes brother Tommy was killed as a result of a hate crime, she found out that Tommy is Henrys father, Jane told her that she was in love with her and to top it all of Maura broke Janes heart by building her hopes up by sleeping with her and then telling her that she didn't love her the way Jane wanted her to. Maura had never screwed anything up in her life, so this was a totally new territory for her. And this is how she tried to handle it by running and hiding in Europe.

Three weeks after her arrival she ran out of things to do. Henry was already feeling at home. He loved the big house, the garden and the swing set. He could spend all day running around. And although he was so happy he missed Jane a lot. Everytime he asked about her Maura didn't know what to say, but eventually said that Jane was going to visit them soon and everytime she felt the hives popping up. At least Henry wasn't able to tell that she was lying. But she also felt so bad for lying at her son but again she tought it was the best she could do.

„What's wrong with you, Maura?" Caitlin asked two days after she arrived. Caitlin and Maura had gotten very close since Maura saved Caitlins life by donating a kidney to her two years ago. One month after Maura told Hope and Caitlin that she was Hopes daughter who was supposed to be dead Caitlin herself came to her and asked her if she still was willing to donate her kidney. Maura just couldn't say no, Caitlin was her half sister after all. She just couldn't let her die.

„If I tell you please just listen and don't judge or anything. Promise?" Maura said.

Caitlin nodded curiously waiting for Maura to start talking.

„You remember my friend, Jane? She told me that she was in love with me and I responded to it by having intercourse with her…."

„You what?" Caitlin interrupted „Sorry, sorry wasn't judging. It's just …. sorry"

Maura sighed.

„So what happened then?" Caitlin asked.

„I told her that I love her but not the way she wants me to." Maura responded.

„But why did you sleep with her then?"

„ I don't know. I have no idea, Caitlin."

„And, did you like it?"

„Yeah, surprisingly I did really enjoy it" Maura said and smirked.

„Are you in love with her?"

„No…. Maybe … I don't know" Maura responded remembering she said the exact same thing when Jane asked her if she was still in love with Tommy about one and a half months ago.

Maura instantly felt a little better after talking to Caitlin. She was happy to have Caitlin in her life right now although she wished Hope also would want to get to know her better.

„Thank you," Maura said to Caitlin „thanks for listening"

„Hey, you saved my life. Listening to you is the least I can do" Caitlin said and laughed.

Maura still couldn't believe how comfortable she was around Caitlin. Maura always had problems in socializing and making friends so this was a really big deal to her.

„Aunt Cateeen" Henry screamed running towards Caitlin.

„Hey Big Boy. How are you doing?" Caitlin asked and just as he tripped over his own feet.

„Good" he responded smiling.

_Jane kissed Maura passionatly. First on her lips then she went for the neck. Maura felt a shiver running down her spine. Jane got further and further down kissing Mauras body removing clothes which got in her way. As Maura was completely undressed she went for Janes neck, kissing it softly. She heard Jane moan and kissed her way further down Janes neck, chest, boobs. Jane moaned again and turned Maura around so she was on top. She started kissing Maura again. Maura had never enjoyed something like this so much. Jane got further and further down Mauras body…_

Maura awoke hearing the wind blowing the twigs of the huge chestnut tree against her window. She sat upright in her bed, her dream slowly coming back to her memory. Did she just have a sexual dream about Jane? She was confused by how aroused she felt. Although she thought it was no wonder she dreamed about having sex with Jane. She enjoyed it very much and although she wasn't quite ready to admit it yet she had never felt as comfortable with a man before as she did with Jane.

The dream returned day after day after day getting more and more explicit and more intense every day.

After two weeks of dreaming about her and Jane, Maura started a kind of experiment and decided to go on a date. The guy was very nice and handsome Maura thought. And although this really handsome man, who was clearly attracted to her, sat next to her all she could think about was Jane and how she wanted to kiss her.

_Am I really in love with Jane? And why now and not two month ago? These dreams are definitely not the way you should dream about your best friend. And she is everything I think about. _

Mauras mind just wouldn't shut up. But she eventually nozzed off into another dream of Jane and her. Not sexually this time. She dreamed about them being together, raising Henry, getting married.

When she awoke the next day, she knew it. She was in love with Jane. She wanted to be with her, kiss her, have sex with her, marry her maybe adopt another child with her. But there was just one little problem, she broke Janes heart. Knowing Jane she knew that there was basically no chance that she would even consider giving Maura a second chance.

_So now I know how Jane felt all this time. _Maura thought

Two weeks before Mauras birthday Caitlin had to leave.

„So did you think about the whole Jane thing?" Caitlin asked

„In fact I did" Maura responded

„Aaand?" Caitlin digged.

„I think I'm in love with her. You know I keep having this dreams since a while and then when I went on this date it just didn't feel right at all. And Jane is basically the only thing I'm thinking about"

„You're definitely in love with her" Caitlin said smiling hugging her half-sister dearly „You should call her."

„She wouldn't even pick up." Maura responded „I could kick myself in the bottom for not realizing it earlier. Why now? Why not then, when I had the chance? Gosh, Caitlin I have been so blind."

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**So, what do you think? Will Maura call Jane? Or will Jane call Maura? Or will nothing happen at all? **

**As always suggestions on improvement would be really amazing. And Reviews are always appreciated also and I'm so thankful for everyone who leaves a review, favorites my story, follows my story, reads my story. THANK YOU.**

_**The chapter title is from the song "Shake it out" by Florence and the machine.**_


	8. Chapter 8

**So Chapter 8... say what? Never thought this would get so long... and I'm not even finished yet ... there are at least 3 more chapters to come ;) Thank you thank you thank you for all the reviews and follows and favorites you have no idea how much this means to me. Also I wanted to say that the chapters won't come as frequently as they did before because school started back and yeah... blah... xD But I have to say that this chapter is very dialog-y and I had a really hard time writing it ... I literally didn't even pay attention in most of my lessons today because I tried to figure out how to save this chapter xD So I hope you like it.**

* * *

**"Chapter 8"**

**„You took this heart and put it through hell but still you're magnificent"**

It's been a little over two months since Jane read Mauras letter. And she buried herself in work ever since. She took every possible case she could get, worked up a hell of a lot of cold cases and even did some charity work if she got time to do so. So she never really had time to think about how much she missed Maura and Henry, at least during the day. But at night her mind always wandered to how it could've been, how it was before this whole drama and how it eventually ended. She still could've kicked herself in the ass for how bold she approached the whole thing. She kept re-living the whole scenario day after day after day. Every little detail, from how she told Maura about her feelings, the kiss, the amazing sex they had, the day after and the weeks after where they didn't talk at all until the day she recieved that letter that said that Maura moved. And every morning while making breakfast she blasted her „Maura's gone" playlist and cried sometimes but most of the days she just sang out loud to every song and probably driving her neighbors crazy with it.

So she did this August morning. She put her iPod in the iHome pressed play and „Payphone" by Maroon 5 started blaring where it was stopped the day before…

_If happy ever after did exist  
I would still be holding you like this  
All those fairytales are full of shit  
One more fuckin' love song I'll be sick_

Jane danced through her kitchen, turning the pancake and singing the lines at the top of her lungs until she heard her phone buzzing on the kitchen counter.

„Rizzoli" she answered. „Ya, I'm on my way" she said after a while. She finished the pancake, jumped in the shower, dressed herself and was on her way to another case. That pretty much was her daily routine.

When Jane arrived at the crime scene Frankie, Frost, Korsak and of course Dr. Pike were already there. Nobody could put up with Dr. Pike, he drove everyone crazy but they had to since he was the only ME they could get on that short notice and they haven't been able to replace him yet.

„Tamara Todd, looks like she was raped and strangled." Frankie filled Jane in shaking his head in disgust.

An hour later Frost and Jane found themselves in the morgue. Jane usually loved to use Pikes OCD to mess with him by missplacing instruments and leaving things that don't belong in the morgue but only if the case was nearly finished. It took a lot longer to solve a case with Pike being the ME but Jane, Frost and Korsak learned to be extra careful so that they won't miss a thing so they still solved the cases, which was the most important thing.

„Later that same day" Jane hissed looking at Pike. „Hey can you step it up a little? I don't wanna stay here all day"

„My precise work takes its time, Detective. I know you're only used to Dr. Isles' wishy-washy autopsies. I really wonder how you ever solved a case with her being the ME" Pike responded. Jane and Frost looked at each other and started to laugh. Pike looked confused back and forth between the two detectives.

„I'm sorry Dr. Pike. Frost and I are gonna go upstairs. Call if you find something" Jane said before leaving the morgue and heading upstairs. Frost behind her. They kept laughing all the way up. As they got out of the elevator they pumped into Frankie.

„Whatcha doing here, Frankie?" Jane asked curiously.

„I'm gonna tell you tonight." Frankie said and he made his way past the two detectives to catch the elevator. Jane almost forgot the dinner Frankie and Riley invited her to.

„Do you think he's getting another shot at homicide?" Frost asked Jane.

Jane shrugged „I don't know. But how the hell should he? There is no spot open"

„Frost? What's todays date?" Jane asked as she was filling out paper work.

„August 7th" Frost responded.

„What? Damn it." Jane said and jumped to her feet „Can you to this? I have to head home. Forgot something important." And she was out of the room.

Frost looked confused to Korsak. „What was that all about?"

„I think it's Mauras birthday today." Korsak responded.

„Where is this damn letter?" Jane cursed out loud as she was tearing her whole apartment up side down. She searched for the letter that Maura wrote her, in the P.S. Maura had left a phone number. After another 15 minutes Jane finally found it. Not even looking at the mess she created she picked up her phone and dialed the number without even thinking about how awkward the conversation eventually is going to be.

„Isles" Jane heard Mauras voice say. At first she wasn't able to talk but she put herself together and said „Hey Maura. It's me, Jane. I'm sorry I'm calling so late but we had a case and I totally forgot what date it was and… sorry I'm rambling … Happy birthday, Maura"

„Hey Jane, thanks for calling." Maura responded surprised.

„Why do you sound so surprised? Did you think I would forget your birthday?" Jane said.

„No, I didn't think you would forget it. I just thought you wouldn't call because… you know…"

„Yeah, about that. I was wrong, Maur. I miss you. A lot. I was wrong about what I said about not wanting to see you. I need you, Maura." Jane said and felt tears running down her cheek.

„I miss you, too. Why haven't you called earlier?" Maura asked.

„I don't know. I just never got myself to do it. I thought about doing it a lot but I never did. I was just scared I guess. So how are you doing? How's Henry doing?" Jane said changing the subject.

„We're good. Henry misses you a lot. The first word he learned in Dutch was „aunt".

The two women talked for over two hours. Maura told Jane about Henry, about Amsterdam and how much she loved it there. Jane told Maura about how annoying Pike is and that every one in BPD basically wants to kill him. And she told her about all the work she was doing, leaving out the detail that she only did it to not to think about Maura.

„So, how about you come over for a few days. I'll pay. It would just be amazing for Henry to see you. I've been lying to him the whole time, saying you are going to visit soon. And I would love to see you too" Maura said finally.

„Ahm… well … yeah sure why not. I'm gonna call you when I know when Cavanaugh can give me a week off"

„Sure, hear you then. Bye." Maura said, Jane heard that she was smiling.

„Yeah, bye" Jane said and hung up.

_Well that will be an interesting phone bill_. Jane thought but she didn't regret it. She felt better than she had in almost three months after she talked to Maura. And she couldn't wait to see her.

Two weeks after the phone call Jane was sitting on the plane on her way to Amsterdam. Cavanaugh was more than glad to give Jane some time off. Although Maura bought a first class ticket for Jane, Jane didn't enjoy the trip at all. First she wasn't really fond of flying at all and second she was anxious to see Maura again. The good and the bad kind of anxious. She was thrilled to see her again. She was thrilled to talk to her again. But she was also scared of which feelings would hit her after seeing her for the first time in such a long time. She knew her romantic feelings for her best friends haven't changed at all but would she be able to keep them for herself in order to have a friendship with Maura again? She didn't know.

„Jane! Jane!" She heard Maura scream across the arriving area in the „Schiphol"-airport. Her mood immediately lightened up as she saw the honey blonde waving at her. As Jane finally made it to Maura through the mass of people she hugged her as if nothing ever happened.

Half an hour later they arrived at Mauras house.

„Oh wow, Maur … this house is … wow" Jane said as she entered the mansion. „Where is Henry?"

„Uhm… he's with my mother. I didn't even tell him you were coming yet. I just wanted to make sure that we are okay with seeing eachother. I learned my lesson about putting someones hopes up." Maura said looking down.

„Hey Maur, I'm fine. Okay. Everything's fine. I never expected you to … you know. Let's not talk about this." Jane said, not only trying to convince Maura but also herself.

„Okay, good." Maura said a little sad. Did she really expect that Jane would just kiss her again and be with her after everything that has happened between them. After how much Maura hurt her. But still she had to tell her. But she wasn't quite ready yet. Smalltalk, just a little smalltalk, just to built her courage up a little.

„So how is everyone?" Maura asked as neutrally as she could.

„Well, it looks like Frankie is getting another shot at homicide. And Riley is pregnant."

„Oh my god that's amazing."

„Yeah it is. Frankie is so excited and you should've seen Ma."

„How's Angela by the way?"

„She absolutely loves taking care of your house I think you will have to cut her out of it if you ever come back." Jane told and laughed. After Maura told Jane about how close she and Caitlin had gotten she finally decided she couldn't wait any longer. So she put a bottle of beer in front of Jane and a glass of whine in front of her.

„Jane, I really have to tell you something." Maura said.

„Sure, What's wrong?" Jane asked as she saw Mauras worried expression. She also noticed Maura fidgeting. Maura never fidgets.

„I don't know how to start. Well… I … about a month and a half ago I started having weird dreams. Well, not weird but let's say unusual dreams. About you. …" Maura started but was soon interrupted by Jane „Wait…. Maura did you have sex dreams about me?!"

„Yes" Maura said and nodded guilty. „And at first I had no idea what to think about it. But after a few nights I was kinda looking forward to go to sleep and after a while you where the only thing I could think about. And about a month ago after a horrible date, which I only went on to test my theory, the dreams kinda changed. It wasn't all about sex anymore, it was about being together and raising Henry together. Just about a life with you. And Jane I don't know why I didn't see it when I had the chance but I'm in love with you." Maura ended.

Jane had no idea what to say. „You…. What?" Jane finally managed to say. „Maur, I … you … you told me three months ago that you didn't want to be with me. That you had no romantic feelings for me. That what we did was a mistake. And now, you are like „Oh, no sorry. Just kidding, I love you Jane"."

„Jane, please… just… I know … I know how you feel. I know it's really bad timing. But I'm just asking you. When you first felt those feelings for me, did you just say right away that you're in love with me?" Maura asked tears rolling down her face.

„No… no I didn't. It took me a few months to admit it to myself" Jane realized and finally admitted what she was trying to deny the past couple of months „You know although you put my heart through hell, I'm still madly in love with you." Jane smiled.

„So? What are we going to do now?" Maura asked.

„I don't know. Maybe just go on a couple of dates. Figure out if it's really what we want. You know you hurt me pretty bad back then" Jane said letting her head sink

„I know I did, Jane. And being with you is exactly what I want and I swear I'm not going to run again." Maura responded stroking Janes cheek. At the touch of Maura Jane instantly felt better. Jane leaned forward and placed a kiss on Mauras lips.

„Okay, well… let's try this then… but seriously let's just take it slow." Jane said kissing Maura again.

"I really missed you Jane"

"I missed you too"

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**So as always I would really appreciate for you leaving suggestions and reviews. Love you guys 3 **

**The chapter title is from the song "Not over you" by Gavin DeGraw ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Yo, Chapter 9, say what? Sorry it took so long to update but I was a little demotivated idk why and this chapter again was a pain in the ass to write. It took me forever and idk I never felt like it was good (I re-wrote it so many times), but I'm quite content now. I hope you are too. Further I want to thank my faithful reviewers Android and Locisvu for literally always reviewing every chapter. THANK YOU SO FREAKING MUCH.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the plot **

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**"Chapter 9"**

**„We don't need to rush this, let's just take it slow"**

The following morning Maura awoke Janes hand wrapped around her waist, she double checked her memories of the previous day to just be sure that this was not one of her dreams. She smiled as she realized it was reality, Jane was laying next to her. Maura was once again surprised how comfortable she felt laying next to Jane. She had never in her life felt this comfortable laying in someones arms. Everything about kissing and cuddling with Jane just felt so natural, Maura thought. As Maura tried to get up Jane pulled her closer „You are not going anywhere right now" Jane said and kissed Maura on her cheek.

„Morning" Maura said „Did you sleep well?"

„Very. I haven't slept this good in so long."

„Why's that?"

„Why do you think?"

„Oh …"

„Jane, did you tell anyone about us?"

„Yeah, Riley knew before you knew and I told Frankie after he asked me why you quit. Did you?"

„Ya, Caitlin"

„And?"

„She was surprised but she had no problem with it. I'm really scared to tell my mother though and my dad. I have never discussed homosexuality with them, what they think about it, I mean."

„Well, I know how my parents think about it. I'm still scared to tell Ma. I just have a feeling she will react diffently than she did when I told her about Tommy. And Pop will probably never talk to me again ever."

Maura remembered the reaction of Janes dad when Jane told him that Tommy and Giovanni were a couple before Tommy was murdered. Mr. Rizzoli didn't even come to Tommys funeral which was probably for the best but Maura knew how much it hurt Jane.

„We totally sound like teenagers." Maura laughed to lighten up the mood.

„Well then I think we should act like some too" Jane said dragging her girlfriend on top of her and kissing her. Totally caught up in their make-out session they lost drag of time until suddenly the doorbell rang.

„Oh gosh, that's mother… she's dropping off Henry." Maura exclaimed rolling off the bed gabbing the clothes laying on the floor not noticing that they were actually Janes. On her way to the door she jumped into them and checked herself in the mirror that was hanging in the entryway throughing her messy hair into a ponytail. She opened the door.

„Morning mother"

„Morning darling" Constance said scanning her daughter from head to toe „What on earth are you wearing?"

Maura looked down. _Great! Not obvious at all. _She thought.

„I… um… just wanted to change up my wardrobe a little." Maura responded.

„Mommy!" Henry said stretching his arms into Mauras direction. She took him out of her mothers arms. „Hey sweetie. Did you have a good time and grandma's?"

„Yes." Henry responded and kissed Maura on her cheek.

„Darling, I have to go. I have a big gallery opening tonight." Constance said and kissed her daughter and Henry goodbye.

„Sure, bye" Maura said.

„Bye, grandma" Henry yelled behind her.

Constance turned and waved at her grandson. Maura couldn't help but smile at how amazing her mother was with Henry. It seemed like she gave Henry all the time she never had for Maura. Maura put Henry down and closed the door.

„Hey buddy" she heard Jane say.

„Aunt Janie" Henry squealed and ran towards her. Jane leaned down to put her nephew into her arms.

The rest of the morning Henry wouldn't let Jane do anything other than play with him. Maura was watching them running through the garden with a smile on her face. This was exactly how she dreamed it, her little family. Jane, Henry and her. A sudden cry of Henry ripped Maura out of her daydream.

„What happened?" Maura almost screamed with panic in her voice when she saw Jane holding crying Henry close.

„He fell over those roots." Jane said her voice shaking.

„Did he fall on his head?" Maura said all doctorly.

„No, I don't think so." Jane said getting back on her feet still holding Henry close. „Just on his knees, I think." Jane was stroking Henrys back, comforting him.

„Hey buddy. Does something hurt, sweetie?" Maura asked her son.

He nodded and pointed to his knee, letting out a sob.

„Okay, let's get inside. I will take a look at your knees." Maura said and took Henry out of Janes arms.

After the shock faded Henry fell asleep. Jane was sitting next to his bed watching him sleep.

„Oh Jane, here you are." Maura said and sat down next to her.

„Maur, I'm sorry…. I shouldn't have…."

„It's not your fault, Jane. He's a kid… things like that happen." Maura said and hugged Jane seeing how startled she looked. „Look at him, he's fine. He just cried because he was in shock."

„It's amazing how much he grew over these last three months" Jane said after a while.

„I'm sorry for keeping him out of your life for so long. You mean so much to him, he adores you."

„It's okay, honey. It's okay. I know why you did it. But hey, we're back together, right? And I'm not planning to change it."

Maura smiled as Jane wiped the tears off of Mauras cheeks. They kissed.

„You have no idea how much I love kissing you, Maura Isles."

„Well I do enjoy it very much also, Jane Rizzoli"

The following days were filled with more Henry and Jane time. Maura showed Jane Amsterdam and filled her head with every little detail about the city. Jane loved how much Maura knew. Even though Mauras google-mouthing could get very annoying at times, Jane loved seeing Maura talk about all those mostly very useless facts.

Most evenings Jane and Maura went on a date. And sometimes they just stayed at home, Maura drinking wine, Jane drinking her beloved beer.

„Uhm, Maur? You are coming back to Boston with me, right?" Jane asked one evening.

„Ya, sure. Did you think I would stay here and watch you leave again?" Maura said placing herself on Janes lap. „Actually I was thinking about you moving in with me when we're back in Boston. I know we said we are going to take it slow but I just thought since you were basically always at my place before we were a couple."

„I would love to move in with you, Maur." Jane said placed a soft kiss on Mauras lips. The kiss soon changed into a full on make-out session. After a while they heard a slight cough from across the room. Maura pulled away from Jane looking at the direction of the sudden noise. „Oh gosh" Maura let out and basically jumped off of Janes lap. „Mother, what?...why? How did you come in?"

„I forgot my scarf earlier and I wanted to get it. And since you didn't react to me ringing the doorbell because you were clearly occupied with something else I decided to let myself in. I have a key, you know." Constance responded. Maura couldn't quite read her mother. Was she angry? Disappointed? Disgusted? Maura couldn't tell.

„Is there something you want to tell me, darling?" Constance said breaking the awkward silence that was clearly present looking from Maura to Jane and back.

„Uhm, gosh I really didn't want to do it that way. Jane and I, we are dating." Maura said not quite as confident as she wanted to sound.

„I know. I just wanted to hear it from you" Constance replied.

„You know? How?"

„Maura, I know I'm not the best mother but I did notice that I have never seen you so happy ever in your life than you were in the last week. And I have never seen you so sad like you were in the previous three months. And you don't really have to be a genius to figure out that your sudden mood swing was caused by Jane. Plus the babysitting on the evening gave it away a little bit also." Constance explained.

„So you're okay with it?" Maura asked hesitantly.

„Why shouldn't I be? Like I said I have never seen you this happy before. And if she's the one that makes you this happy, who am I to judge?" Constance said and hugged her daughter and after that Jane who was now standing next to Maura.

Four days later Jane, Maura and Henry were on their way back to Boston.

„So 7 hours … then we have to face my mother. I hope she reacts like yours did" Jane said worried.

„She will, I'm sure"

The flight went by quite fast and both of them were happy that they decided to fly over night, so Henry was sleeping most of the time. The women weren't able to find any sleep though. They talked about how they were going to come out to their colleagues and if Maura would be able to get her job back. The latter was answered with a clear yes by Jane, because everyone hated Pike she just hoped that they weren't able to replace him in the two weeks she was gone. The other half of the flight they spend kissing and cuddling which brought them stage stares from the other passegers but they just didn't care. They were just happy that they finally found together although it took this long and Jane was just sick and tired of hiding her feelings. That's why she decided to tell her mother as soon as they arrived. And she would just leave it to Angela to tell her father because her parents seemed to get closer again. A fact which Jane didn't like at all. Her father hurt her mother pretty badly when he left and asked for an anullment to marry Lydia.

„How come you know every single detail about my family and I don't even know your dads name?" Jane said

„I don't know. Maybe you don't care about me as much as I care about you" Maura said teasingly.

„Oh yeah? Maybe you don't trust me enough to tell me everything about you and your family" Jane teased back.

So Maura spent the last hour before their arrival at the „Logan Airport" to tell Jane everything about her father Hamish, the name alone already caused Jane a chuckle. „What kind of name is that?" she asked laughing.

„It is the Anglicised form of the vocative case of the Scottish Gaelic Seumas which is the equivalent to the English James." Maura responded as if it was the most natural thing in the world to know things like that.

„Seriously how to you remember all this useless information?" Jane asked still laughing.

„I thought you wanted to know something about my father and not make fun of me" Maura said a little hurt.

„I'm sorry, hun. Go on" Jane said apologetically.

Maura told Jane that she was really close with her father ever since she was a toddler. But now they only saw eachother very rarely because her dad hates Boston and just refuses to visit her there, so Maura always has to travel to see him. But she also told how he would come to all her ballett recitals which her mother never did.

It was about 7 am when they arrived. Half an hour later they had gotten their luggage and left the airport where Frankie and Riley were waiting for them.

„Finally!" Riley whispered as she saw that Maura and Jane were approaching them hand in hand. She immediatly ran to Jane and hugged her telling her how happy she was for her. She also hugged Maura but everyone could see that that was her „I'm still mad with you because you broke Janes heart"-hug and it made both feel pretty uncomfortable.

„So what's new?" Jane asked as they sat in Frankies car on the way to Mauras house.

„Actually quite a lot for just two weeks" Riley responded holding her left hand up obviously showing a ring.

„Did he propose? Oh my god, Riles that's amazing. Congrats you two."

„But there's more… we are thinking about buying a house because we're getting twins" Riley said.

„Twins? Wow!" Jane was only able to say knowing how hard it was to get one child through this first year of sleepless nights and feeding every couple of hours. She couldn't imagine how it must be with two babies at the same time.

„But there's still more, sis." Frankie said a little trace of worry in his voice. „Mom and Dad are back together."

„THEY WHAT?" Jane yelled. Jane couldn't believe it. She thought her mother was smarter than go back with this man after everything that happened. But apparently she was wrong.

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**Again I'm sorry that it took this long to update but my inspiration kinda went and still hasn't returned completely. But what it came back for was the scene of Janes father finding out about her and Maura... and I can tell you it's not pretty...**

**What do you guys think how Angela will react? Will she be understanding and supportive or will she don't like it at all? **

**The chapter title is from the song "Just a kiss" by Lady Antebellum.**

**And as always I would really appreciate suggestions and reviews. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 =D, I'm soooo sooo so sorry this took so long but school is already killing me plus I was sick :/ **

**Thank you again for the reviews and follows and favorites... this means so much to me ;) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except plot and well the mistakes xD**

* * *

**"Chapter 10"**

**„The stakes are high, the water's rough but this love is ours"**

After Frankie dropped the bomb nobody said anything for the rest of the half hour drive except for the few „Look, aunt Janie!" coming from Henry who curiously looked out of the window. Maura fell asleep shortly after they got into the car and didn't even wake when Jane yelled.

„Maur, honey. Wake up." Jane said softly trying to wake Maura as they pulled up into Mauras driveway. Maura stired and her eyes fluttered open looking around a litte confused.

„Hey sleepy head, you fell asleep as soon as your cute little ass touched the seat. But we're home now" Jane said and gave Maura a kiss on her cheek.

Still half sleeping Maura got out of the car, took her suitcase out of the trunk and followed Jane into her house.

Two hours later Jane and Maura finished unpacking their suitcases.

„I'm so tired." Jane said letting out a big yawn.

„I know me too. But we have to fight threw this jetlag. We have to get used to our usual schedule again." Maura said also yawning.

„Maybe just an hour. Or two." Jane almost begged.

„No. You and I are going to go to your apartment and pack the things you're going to need here." Maura said dragging Jane out of the bedroom.

„Sheesh, Maur you really don't wanna wast any time. Do you?"

„No, I wasted enough already" Maura responded and pulled Jane closer to her placing a kiss on her lips.

Half an hour later the women and Henry found themselves in Janes apartment rummaging through boxes, sorting things into „Toss" „Donate" and „Keep" piles.

„Hey, Jane. Is that you and Tommy?" Maura asked showing a picture to her girlfriend.

„Yeah. This was on Halloween. He was about 3 and I was 8, I think. It was the first time he went „trick or treating" and I kinda lost him somehow. So I spent most of my night searching for him and I got no candy at all. After like 3 hours I found him sitting on a bench eating candy out of his bag which was stuffed completely. I have never even gotten my bag half full. But that was Tommy, nobody could ever refuse anything if he asked for it." Jane told Maura a single tear rolling down her cheek. „I know this most sound really strange because I haven't talked to him since Henry was born but I miss him. I miss him so much." Jane said sobbing. „Gosh, I'm crying again, sorry."

„It's okay, sweetie." Maura said rubbing small circles on Janes back. „Nobody expects you to be over this so quickly".

Maura looked at the photo once again and smiled at the sight of Jane. She wore a witch costume. Her brunette hair hanging down to her hip. _She was adorable. _Maura thought.

At about 3 pm when Jane and Maura just finished loading the boxes into Mauras Prius Janes cellphone buzzed. It was Angela asking where they were. She told her that they would be at Mauras house soon and they had something important to tell her.

The way back to Beacon Hill Jane was silent, staring out the window thinking about all the different scenarios that could happen. Even though Jane could kill her mother sometimes she loved her and she had no idea what she would do when Angela wouldn't talk to her anymore.

„Jane, don't worry, everything will be fine. I'm sure." Maura said snapping Jane out of her thoughts.

„I hope you're right, babe." Jane said and jumped out of the car.

As soon as Jane opened the door to Mauras house her mother was already there to hug her. Jane hated hugs, but this one seemed necessary, she thought, since it might be the last one for a while. Only when Maura came through the entry with Henry in her arms Angela pulled away from Jane and hugged Maura and gave Henry a kiss on his head. She immediatly started to talk about how much Henry grew and how much he missed him. Maura told her that he often asked about her, which almost made Angela cry. She always treated Henry like he was her grandson although he also could've been Franks „lovechild" but now that she knew that she was Henrys grandmother she loved him even more.

Half an hour later after Maura put Henry down for his afternoon nap Jane thought it would be a good time to do what they couldn't avoid.

„Ma, I need to talk to you…." Jane started.

„I know it already, honey" Angela responded.

„You… what?" Jane asked surprised.

„That you two are dating. Constance told me. She said you guys were all secretive about it the whole time. We both had our assumptions after Maura left and you two didn't talk to eachother for months" Angela explained.

Maura and Jane looked at eachother in surprise. Of all the scenarios that Jane imagined this was not one of them. Her mother talked about it as if it was the most common thing in the world. No anger. No disappointment. No disgust. Nothing.

„So how did this even happen?" Angela asked.

Jane relieved that her mother was really interested in the story told her everything about how she slowly fell in love with Maura over the last two years. About the disaster that happened after she told Maura about her feelings, not even leaving the sex out, a subject which she normally did not discuss with her mother. And about the months where Jane was heartbroken and Maura discovered that she also developed strong feelings for Jane and how they eventually got together.

„You should've known you could've talked to me about things like that, Janie" Angela said after Jane stopped talking.

_Well there's the disappointment now._ Jane thought cringing her teeth.

„I was kinda scared. I didn't know how you would react. I thought you would react differently than you did when I told you about Tommy." Jane aswered.

„Why should I? I love you, Janie. And if Maura makes you happy I'm not gonna stand in the way of it." Angela said smiling.

„Thanks, Ma." Jane said and hugged her mother. „How come you and dad are back together again?" Jane asked with a concered undertone in her voice. „After everything that happened. I don't understand."

„It just kind of happened. I don't even know how." Angela responded shortly.

„Well, okay then you can tell, daddy. You know about me and Maura. I'm gonna go unpack my boxes, bye" Jane said and went for Mauras Prius.

**3 days later**

Janes head shot up as she heard the doorbell ring. Once, twice, three times before she was even able to get to her feet. It could only be her father, she just knew it. It has been 3 days since Angela told her she would tell Frank about Jane being with Maura. Jane knew how her father reacted when he found out that her little brother Tommy was gay, and this wasn't pretty at all. Her hands shaking she went for the door. _Come on, Rizzoli! You're not 15 anymore, you're a grown woman._ She remembered how angry her father always was when "his little Janie" did something wrong when she was a teenager and how scared she often was of him when he got angry.  
The doorbell rang another three times before Jane reached the door to open it.  
"For christs sake, Pop! What the hell? A little patience... I can't fly" Jane tried to overact her fear as she saw her father.  
"Is it true, Janie? Is it true? This Doctor slut, are you involved with her?" Frank yelled at her daughter.

Jane didn't know what to say… at first. „Yes, in fact it is true. And don't you dare call Maura a slut again. Don't you dare to insult my girlfriend like that. You don't know her at all." Jane yelled back at her father tears of anger and frustration swelling up.

„Are you serious?"

„Yes, I'm very serious."

„First your screw up of a brother and now you. What have I done to deserve this?" Frank let out.

„To deserve what, dad? Two kids who are happy or were happy in their relationships. Oh yeah that's a really heavy burden to bear. How can you survive?" Jane snapped back at her dad sarcastically.

„That's just wrong!"

„You don't get to talk about what's wrong and what's right after everything you did in the last couple years. So you really think being in love is wrong? Caring for someone is wrong? Being happy is wrong? I don't think so, dad. You know what is wrong, leaving your wive after 35 years, asking for not just a divorce but for an anullment and hooking up with someone younger than your kids and leaving her too after learning she is pregnant. Not even going to your sons funeral because you are ignorant and stubborn. That's wrong."

„Don't you talk to me like that!" Frank moved closer to his daughter and slapped her across her face.

Jane was too bummed to say anything. She just stood there fighting back her tears. The last thing she wanted to do right now was breaking out in tears in front of her father.

„Oh my god… Janie .. I … I'm so sorry" Frank stumbled. He moved closer to his daughter clapping his hand over his mouth in shock when he saw Janes lip bleed. He layed his other hand on Janes shoulder.

„No, don't… out…. OUT!" Jane screamed at the touch of her father.

„But Jane, I…"

„I said you should leave." Jane responded tears of anger and frustration filling her eyes.

„Mr. Rizzoli, I think you should go now." Maura said with more than just a trace of anger in her voice. Jane didn't even notice that Maura was there.

Clearly ashamed of what just happened Frank left whispering another „I'm sorry" before he went out the door. As her father was gone Jane collapsed on the floor and she just couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Maura didn't even say anything she just sat down next to Jane and hugged her. They sat there for about an hour not speaking a word. Jane was still shocked. She never expected her dad to be okay with her being with Maura but his reaction was a lot to take in. Her father had never slapped her before, her brothers yes, but not her, she was always his little girl. No matter what she did Frank defended her in front of her mother.

„How much did you see?" Jane asked as she found her speech again.

„Pretty much the whole thing. I'm so sorry, sweetie" Maura responded and stroked Jane over her cheek where a big bruise was already starting to show „That's gonna be bad"

How Jane got that big bruise on her cheek was kept a secret between Maura and her. At work she told everyone that Frankie tackled her why they were playing Basketball, to her family she told the same story just replacing Frankie with Frost. She didn't want her collegues and especially not her mother to know what her father did, even if didn't intend to do it. Her mother was already so disappointed in Frank, so Jane decided not to tell her because although Jane wasn't really happy about her parents being back together her mother was. She didn't want to ruin it.

„So, how long is this between you and Maura going on now?" Frost asked suddenly a few days after Jane got back to work causing Jane to choke on her coffee and spitting it all over her desk.

„How…. Is it that obvious?" Jane whispered.

„No well actually yeah but I have this hunch for a long time now and you just confirmed it." Frost responded and smirked.

Jane raised her eyebrow. „Really? How did you come to this conclusion?"

„Oh come on, Jane. You have been nothing but miserable and basically a bitch since Maura left and now she is back and you are perky and nice. So, since when?"

So Jane told him the whole god damn story about what happened between her and Maura before she left and after. Frost wasn't the least bit surprised. He always sensed a little lesbian energy between Maura and Jane.

„Hey Korsak, I was right. Can't wait to see you bald" Frost said as he saw the older detective enter the bullpen.

„Damn" Do you really have nothing better to do than bet on wether I'm with Maura or not?" Jane jumped to her feet shaking her head. She couldn't believe how stupid this was. She was expecting things like this from Frost but Korsak?

„Korsak and Frost are idiots" Jane said as she entered the morgue. Maura looked confused at her girlfriend. Jane told Maura what just happened. Maura chuckled as Jane ended the story.

„Well I can't wait to see Detective Korsak bald either" Maura defended herself as she saw Jane shaking her head in disbelief.

„Oh by the way, my father called. He said he will come next week." Maura said and leaned over the dead body laying on the autopsy table.

„Next week?" Jane let out. Jane wasn't at all prepared for that. She was never good at meeting the parents. She always said or did something inappropriate and more than once embarresed herself in front of the whole family. And this time it would be much more difficult to make a good first impression. First she was a woman, which Mauras father already knew from Constance but Jane also came from a totally different world than Maura and her parents did. If the things she did and said already were inappropriate when she met with the families of her previous boyfriends how inappropriate and embarrassing would they be in front of Mauras father. Plus she still had that bruise on her left cheek which also wouldn't help to show that she was good enough for Maura. No Jane was so not ready for meeting Hamish Isles. But she promised Maura not to run when things would get uncomfortable.

„Jane, don't worry. He's going to love you." Maura said as she saw Janes concerened look.

* * *

**So, Jane's about to meet Mauras father. Do you guys think he will like Jane? Or not? And do you guys think that Frank will come to his right mind and properly apologize to Jane and Maura?**

**The chapter title is from the song "Ours" by Taylor Swift.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I am so incredibly sorry that I haven't updated in so long but school is crazy, right now. And I also really struggled writing this chapter. I had like 5 different beginnings and even though I'm still not 100% satisfied with this one, it was the best one. **

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**Chapter 11**

**„Maybe we're just lucky but maybe that's okay"**

„Maur? How come I have never met your father? We know each other for how long 10, 11 years?"

„I guess because he never visited me here. He hates Boston. Normally when I meet him it's in one of our European houses."

„What makes him come this time?"

„I have no idea what my mother told him to convince him to come. Believe me I was really surprised when he called and said he wanted to visit me and get to know you. He never wanted to get to know any of my boyfriends."

„What if he doesn't like me? What if he thinks I'm not good enough for you? I mean I know I'm not even near your league. And I have no idea why but because of some bizarre reason you don't care. And I just don't…." Jane starts but Maura shut her up with a kiss. As she breaks away she takes Janes hands in hers.

„Jane, stop. Stop second guessing yourself all the time. You are more than good enough for me. You're gorgeous, you're smart, you're so caring and protective and I have never been so happy in my entire life. I love you, Jane. And even if my father doesn't like you, which is almost impossible, it wouldn't change any of the feelings I have for you." Maura said putting her hands on Janes waist pulling her closer.

Jane was touched by Mauras words. Nobody had ever told her things like that, other than her mother but that doesn't really count, does it?

She rested her forehead against Mauras. „Thank you" Jane said almost inaudible.

This was a whole new side of Jane Rizzoli, that Maura had never seen before. She was insecure and questioning herself. Maura knew it was a great deal for Jane to open up to someone like that.

„What exactly happened to us taking it slow? I mean we are living together, I'm going to meet your father tomorrow, we pretty much have a kid together and we are only together for a little over a month. I think we're doing something wrong here" Jane said laughing trying to draw the attention away from how much she just revealed.

„Do you have a problem with that?" Maura said a little trace of panic in her voice. Her eyes widened in shock she pulled away from Janes embrace.

„No, no, babe, I didn't mean it like that. I love it. I love you. I was simply wondering what happened. But baby believe me I'm so happy to be with you." Jane said putting her hands around Mauras waist.

„Good. You know there's still something we haven't done since we are together. " Maura said with a grin on her face. She put her arms around Janes neck and started to kiss Jane.

They barely made it into the bedroom losing their pieces of clothing on the way.

Kissing they collapsed on the king-sized bed.

The next morning Maura awoke early. She smiled at the sight of Jane laying next to her, naked, her dark curls draped around her head. She smiled at the thought of their last night. And she knew it was right to wait for them to have sex after the disaster that was their first time. Her mind went back to that morning all those months ago. She still had no idea how she could've been so stupid back then. How she could've not seen how perfect Jane was for her, how amazing Jane was in general. And so Maura lay lost in her thoughts for an hour without even noticing when Jane began to stir next to her.

„Good morning, gorgeous" Jane said as she opened her eyes. Maura let out sound of surprise as she snapped out of her thoughts.

„Good morning to you, too" Maura replied, rolled over and placed a kiss on Janes lips. Jane placed her hand on Mauras neck.

„What were you thinking about?" Jane asked as they broke away from the kiss.

„Nothing special. Just about how amazing last night was." Maura replied with a smile on her face. She rested her head on Janes shoulder.

„So are you up for round two?" Jane said with a smirk on her face.

„Technically it would be round four" Maura said before she got silenced by Janes lips on hers. Maura chuckled as Jane kissed her down her neck.

„Mommy" the women heard Henry from outside the bedroom door. Jane and Maura let out a sigh, rolled out of bed and jumped into some clothes.

„Well there goes round four" Jane sighed before she opened the door and let Henry in who immediately jumped into their bed, which he always does after he gets up to have his „Mommy and Aunt Janie cuddle session". All three of them loved it, it gave them time in the morning to spend time together before Jane and Maura went to work and little Henry went to the daycare center.

The rest of the morning Maura spent with at least attempting to tidy up the house, which wasn't the easiest thing to do with Jane and Henry playing and leaving every toy lying around all over the house. She let out a sigh of frustration, although she loved how much time Jane spent playing with Henry, she also hated that neither Jane nor Henry were able to clean up their messes unless they were forced to. And for the 30th time that day, at least she felt like it was the 30th, she carried the toy into Henrys room. Although she was a little frustrated the sight of Jane playing with Henry made her smile. She loved watching them. She loved how Jane would do anything to make their little boy happy. Right at that moment she was wearing one of Henrys pillow covers on her head and they were sipping imaginary tea out of the tiny toy cups Henry insisted to get the other day. Maura wasn't at all pleased with Jane when she gave in and bought them for him after she said no. But now seeing her little boy so happy playing with them made her almost feel bad. As Henry saw Maura leaning against the doorframe he smiled that adorable little smile of his and invited her to join their „tea-party". She wanted to decline but when Henry started to give her his puppy eyes she agreed and sat down. As Henry put one of his plush snakes around Mauras neck, Jane burst out into laughter. Never in her life had Jane ever felt this happy in her life. Jane looked from Maura to Henry. This was her life now. This was her little family. She always thought she would never have kids, never get married but with Maura as her partner everything has changed. Jane had no doubt that she and Maura would stay together forever although they had only been together for a month.

Jane leaned forward to place a kiss on Mauras lips.

„I love you." Jane whispered as she pulled away from the kiss leaning her forehead against Mauras.

„I love you, too"

„Eww, yucky" Henry exclaimed while watching „Kissing is yucky"

„Oh really? Is it? Then I know exactly what to do with you" Jane replied. She grabbed Henry and pulled him on her lap. She placed kisses all over his face. The little boy giggled and tried to wind out of Janes grip. „Stop, aunt Janie. Stop!"

As she let go of Henry he placed a kiss on her cheek. „I love you, aunt Janie"

„Aww I love you too, little man."

„And what about me?" Maura asked faking a pout.

„You too, mommy." Henry responded and went over to Maura to also place a kiss on her cheek.

„Oh gosh, I should've started cooking an hour ago" Maura said as her and Jane went out of Henrys room after they put him down for his afternoon nap. Maura ended up playing with Jane and Henry for hours. „And the house is a mess"

„Maur, calm down. The house is fine. And you still have 4 hours until your father arrives. And please don't tell me that you didn't enjoy this."

„Of course I enjoyed it, Jane. I loved it actually. We make a good team, don't you think? Us three."

„A very good team" Jane responded kissing Maura.

Those four remaining hours went by faster than both women wanted. Maura was stressed out about if the food was going to be finished on time. Jane got more and more nervous by every second that the clock went closer to seven o'clock. Although Mauras pep talk in the morning gave her a little bit of a self-esteem boost, she still wasn't convinced that Mauras father would like her. Jane normally didn't care what people thought about her but ever since Maura told her how much her fathers opinions mattered to her, this was all she could think about. _What if he doesn't approve of me? Would she leave me again? _She thought while dressing Henry. Although Maura told her that nothing would change her feelings for Jane, Jane wasn't entirely sure. Maura has gotten quite good at lying over those past two and a half years since she adopted Henry. But would Maura really lie about something like that? Would she leave her? Jane didn't know.

„Jane, sweeheart? Are you done" Mauras voice hollered through the house. Jane was still so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice anything until Henry poked her in her stomach.

„Ow… what's wrong, bud?" Jane asked

„Mommy's calling you" Henry answered looking confused at his aunt.

„What is it, Maur?" Jane yelled in the direction of the living room

„I just wanted to know if you're finished?" Maura said coming through Henrys door.

„Wow, Maur you look… wow" Jane was speechless at the sight of her girlfriend. She wore a tight-fitting black dress that cut off right above her knees with a red blazer over it, her hair was in a high ponytail and her shoes were those really expensive ones with the signature red sole, Maura got the other day. Jane could never remember the designers name no matter how often Maura would repeat it to her.

„Thanks. You too, babe." Maura said and kissed Jane on her cheek. Even Jane decided to wear a dress that. Although it wasn't nearly as spectacular as Mauras Jane was quite content with her pick.

„Henry too, mommy. Henry too" Henry said standing in front of the mirror.

„Yes you look very handsome, buddy" Maura said hauling up her son.

„Oh yeah really handsome!" Jane confirmed nodding her head.

They were interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell.

„I get it. I get it" Henry screamed at was out of his room before Jane and Maura even noticed the bell. Henry was looking forward to his grandfather visiting all week.

Maura went after Henry, but Jane hesitated, she felt the nervousness and the insecurity come back again.

„Sweetheart?" Maura said as she noticed that Jane wasn't behind her.

„Coming" Jane answered.

„No… not tired" Henry said rubbing his eyes as he woke up when Jane hauled him up to take him to bed.

„You already fell asleep, buddy." Jane said kissing Henry on his head.

„Oh… grandpa… still here tomorrow?" Henry asked barely able to hold his eyes open.

„Sure, go to bed, little man. I'm going to be here all weekend." Hamish answered.

Jane went off in the direction of Henrys bedroom. Maura sat back down on her favorite chair. The evening has gone pretty good so far, much better than Maura had imagined. Jane and her father got along pretty well.

„So, daddy what do you think about Jane?" Maura asked when she was sure Jane wasn't able to hear them anymore.

„I like her. She's so different from anyone who you ever dated… and not only because she is a woman… she's refreshing … and you two seem very happy." Hamish responded smiling at his daughter.

„Well, we are."

„This bruise of hers… does that happen often … in her job?" Hamish asked just too curious to keep the question in.

„It didn't happen on a job. Her father didn't really approve of her and me dating and after an argument he hit her." Maura responded. „We didn't expect him to be okay with it because when he found out that Janes brother was gay he didn't react any differetly, except he couldn't do anything to him because he was already dead."

Hamish shook his head. „You mean the brother who is Henrys father? Has he seen Henry yet?"

„Did I never tell you this, Tommy was killed about 4 months ago." Maura answered surprised that she would leave something this essential out of the story.

„Oh… no I guess you forgot to mention that. Is that him?" Hamish responded and pointed on a picture standing on the fireplace.

Maura nodded.

„Henry looks a lot like him."

„Ya, he does… it's pretty hard on Jane sometimes." Maura said.

„What's hard on me, babe?" Jane asked as she re-entered the livingroom squeezing herself in the armchair next to Maura.

„That the Red-Sox lost." Maura lied sure Jane would pick up on her lying. But to her surprise Jane did not. „Henry's asleep?" Maura asked changing the subject so Jane couldn't comment on why her father and her would talk about baseball. She wasn't entirely show on how Jane would react if she knew that Maura told her father about everything that was going on in Janes and her life in all great detail.

„Yup, he fell asleep after I read about half a page" Jane answered.

The three of them spent another two hourse talking, mostly about Henry of course.

„11 already… I should get going. Oh yeah, would it be okay if I took Henry to the Zoo tomorrow? I really want to spend some time with him" Hamish said getting up from the couch.

„Of course it's okay, dad." Maura said also rising herself from the chair causing Jane, who began to doze of on Mauras shoulder, fall sideways, hitting her head on the armrest and wake up.

„Oh I'm sorry, sweetheart." Maura said barely able to hold back a laugh.

Jane was already laying in bed as Maura got out of the bathroom wearing her ivory-colored cashmere bathrobe.

„How come my dad is the only one who can't see how happy I am with you?" Jane asked wiping a tear from her cheek.

„I don't know, sweetheart." Maura said lying down next to Jane putting her arms around her girlfriends waist pulling her closer. „I'm sure he will come around someday, he loves you, Jane."

„I wish I could believe that." Jane said and let out a small sob.

Maura placed a kiss on Janes temple. After a few minutes Maura let go off Janes hips and lay back down on her site of the bed.

Suddenly Jane let out a chuckle.

„What?" Maura asked surprised.

„Do you remember the first time we lay together like this?" Jane asked. „When Hoyt broke out for the first time?"

„Sure I do, you accused me of being a Cyborg. And we talked about which of us should date Agent Dean." Maura answered smiling.

„And I asked you if this lying down next to me was your way of telling me that you're attracted to me. You just laughed but was it?" Jane asked.

„I don't know … maybe… I always thought you were gorgeous." Maura responded.

„But you did say that even if we would like women I wouldn't be your type. That hurt Maur…" Jane said faking a pout.

„Hey, you said it too" Maura shot back.

„When?"

„Don't you remember? When I told you that Caitlin and my DNA was a match. You said „You're not really my type""

„Well, I guess that changed for both of us, didn't it?" Jane asked.

„Yup" Maura answered „I love you, Jane"

„I love you, too"

* * *

**Although I really want to promise that the next update will come sooner, I just can't. I will try my best to update it before Christmas break but I really can't promise it. **

**So enjoy ;) **

**The chapter title is from the song "Love I've found in you" by Lady Antebellum**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**„This peppermint winter is so sugar sweet"**

The winter came just in time for Thanksgiving. From that day on the days were filled with thick white snowflakes falling down on the city. The temperature dropping lower and lower every day. In the middle of December the snow was already over a foot high. And even though on this December morning it was snowing heavily again Jane and Henry were outside in the backyard. Henry was building a little Snowman and Jane was throwing snowballs for Jo Friday to fetch. The little dog jumped after them. Every time she came back to ground her body vanished completely in the snow. „Vedi, zia, vedi!*" Jane heard her nephew scream and she dropped the snowball she was just about to throw. She turned around to see that Henry has put his beanie onto the snowman head.

„No, Henry. Do you really wanna get sick again? Why do you always take your beanie off?" Jane asked frustrated stomping over to Henry and grabbing the beanie off again.

„No! Ma lui anche ha freddo!°" Henry exclaimed jumping up to reach the beanie in Janes hands.

„Yeah, but he can't get sick, sweetie" Jane said brushing the snow off the beanie before putting it back on Henrys head.

"Say it in Italian, please?" Henry said his eyes glowing. Since Henry once heard Jane saying something in Italian to Maura about 2 and half months ago he asked her to teach him the language. Everything she said she had to translate into Italian for Henry otherwise he would not stop bugging her. And although saying everything twice was tiring at times, she was proud and surprised about how fast Henry was picking up the language.

Jane patted Henrys head and translated the sentence into Italian. The little boy repeated the sentence over and over to memorize the words and trying to figure out how to use the new learned words correctly. After Henry was sure he repeated the sentence often enough, he and Jane started to work on the snow man again. When they were finished Jane took a photo of Henry and the snow man.

Maura was standing in the kitchen preparing dinner and watching Henry and Jane playing outside. She absolutely loved days like this, just her family having a good time. Sometime over the course of the last 2 and half months she started to refer to Jane, Henry and her as a family. Not that they haven't been a family before and basically nothing has changed everything was completely different. And although Jane and Maura have spent every Christmas together for 10 years, Maura wanted this first Christmas as couple, as a family, be perfect. She hoped that, just like the previous two Christmases, they were lucky and won't get called in for a case. Henry was already used to have Maura and Jane with him, they had their own little traditions. It was extremely important to her to keep this traditions going, since she always spend her Christmases somewhere else and always with her nanny. That's why she hated Christmas as a child and it wasn't until she met Jane that she started to enjoy this holiday. Now that she has a kid of her own, her own traditions to keep up, she loved Christmas.

Completely lost in her thoughts she jumped a little as Jane and Henry came in the kitchen. Henry hugged Maura's legs and Jane placed a kiss on her girlfriend's cheek.

"Dinner's ready soon" Maura said "Can you set the table, babe?"

"Sure" Jane responded. As Jane took the plates out of the cupboard Henry was jumping up and down next to her "I want, I want!" he exclaimed and reached for the plates in Jane's hands. Jane was barely able to hold on to the plates as Henry grabbed the hem of her shirt. "Henry, stop!" Jane said a little too loudly. The little boy let go of Jane's shirt. His bottom lip quivered. Jane set the plates on the kitchen counter and kneeled down in front of her nephew. "I'm sorry, bud. But please don't do this again. Maybe next time I won't be able to hold onto the plates and they break or worse I hit you on the head with it." Jane said holding Henry by his shoulders. The boy nodded "Mi dispiace!" he let out. "It's okay" Jane responded got back up, picked up the plates again and went over to the dining table followed my Henry. Together they set the table.

"Mommy, can I feed Bass?" Henry asked after they finished diner.

"Sure!" Maura responded, lifted her son out of his high chair and handed him some lettuce and some of Bass' favorite strawberries. The little boy ran off happily to Bass' room. Over the last few months it became Henrys duty to feed the tortoise which made him very proud.

As Maura was sure Henry wasn't able to hear her anymore she said: "Your mother called, she won't come over for Christmas."

"What? Why? Oh let me guess, because of him, right?" Jane responded. Sometime over the last 3 months she started to refer to her father as "him". Her mother still had no idea that Frank hit her and Jane also had not intention to change that in the near future.

"Well, then no Christmas with Nonna. I don't want him anywhere near Henry." Jane said. Maura just nodded, agreeing completely with what Jane just said. Even though Jane tried to hide it, Maura could see how hurt she was.

It was already the 22nd of December when Jane, Maura and Henry were finally able to go to the Christmas tree farm. Henry loved the idea of them chopping down their own Christmas tree since Jane first proposed it. Maura, of course only saw the danger in such an activity but after a lot of begging, from both Jane and Henry, she finally gave in. And once they got out of the car and Henry was happily running around looking at every tree thoroughly, she knew it was the right decision. After an hour the three of them found a tree, they were all happy with.

"Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh, hey" all three of them sang along to the Christmas carol playing on the radio. Maura had never felt so content in her live. This was exactly how she always expected her Christmases to be, no cruises, no fancy hotels in European countries, no parents fighting about which fancy restaurant they should dine at and whether they should take Maura or leave her with her nanny.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked as she noticed that Maura stopped singing and was just staring out of the window.

"Nothing…. Everything's perfect… I love this. All of this and I love you." Maura responded.

"I love you too, babe" Jane said and put her right hand on Mauras knee.

"Love you!" Henry responded to the conversation Maura and Jane had.

"We love you too, little man!" Jane and Maura said in unison.

The following days until Christmas Eve went by very quietly. No new cases came in and the three could really enjoy their rare time together. Very early on Christmas Eve Angela came by.

"Ma, hey! What are you doing here?" Jane asked as she opened the door. She couldn't quite hide her disappointment, although she knew she was being selfish and immature.

"I just wanted to drop off Henrys presents. And yours and Mauras" Angela responded, her smile fading when she saw how annoyed Jane looked.

Jane took the bag of presents that Angela handed her. "Thanks, mom" Jane tried to sound a little friendlier. "And Merry Christmas"

"Merry Christmas to you too, sweetheart. Is there any chance you and Maura would reconsider coming letting Henry come over tomorrow?" Angela asked carefully.

"Mom, we talked about this. I said no the first 10 times you asked. I don't want him anywhere near my s…. anywhere near Henry!" Jane responded confused about what almost slipped out.

"But Janie…" Angela said.

"No, mom. Please not again… I'm not in the mood." Jane interrupted Angela. "Are you going to visit Tommy, today?" Jane changed the subject.

"I thought about it, yeah. But I don't know yet." Angela responded.

"Really? You don't know yet? What happened to you? First you ditch me, Maura and Henry and now you are not even going to Tommys grave. It's Christmas eve for christs sake" Jane blurted out.

Angela couldn't say anything in her defence before Jane closed the door.

"What's wrong with her? It's like I don't know her anymore!" Jane said to Maura as she entered the kitchen. She put the gifts into a cupboard in the living room and told Maura about the conversation she just had with her mother.

The rest of the morning Jane, Maura and Henry spent decorating the Christmas tree, which, of course, didn't happen without a few baubles breaking. It was the first year Henry was allowed to help and he loved every second of it.

"Look even Bass' got a little christmasy today" Jane said to Henry and pointed at the tortoise. She had put a bow around Bass. Henry started laughing histerically and Maura just rolled her eyes "Again, Jane. Really?" she said.

"Should I come with you?" Maura asked as Jane was about to drive off to the cemetery in the early afternoon.

"No, it's okay. Besides your mom and dad are coming soon." Jane responded, kissed Maura goodbye and was gone.

As she pulled into the cementery parking lot it took her a few moments before she was able to get out of the car. She hasn't been to her brother's grave since the funeral and she remembered that she broke down standing in front of it back then.

Wandering through the cemetery she had problems to find Tommys gravestone but eventually got to it. She put the flowers she brought on the grave. "Hey little bro. Merry Christmas. I miss you, a lot. I started to teach Henry Italian. He's pretty good at picking it up, just like you were. He reminds me of you so much. I mean he looks just like you. It's uncanny. Oh and I don't if you managed to find out that Ma and Pop are back together again I mean can you believe this? He left her for Lydia and after you died he was a complete ass and now she is back together with him. And I guess she is not even coming to visit you today. I'm sorry. I love you, I really do. Sorry I didn't always show it when you were still here."

By the time Jane came back home Constance and Hamish were already there and there were only a few minutes left until the dinner was supposed to start. Jane kinda lost track of time and spent most of her afternoon at Tommys and afterwards she was just wandering around.

"I'm sorry, I'm late" Jane said kissing Maura.

"It's okay!" Maura responded.

The dinner went by quite uneventful. Constance and Hamish told about the cottage they bought in Switzerland and that Maura and Jane could stay there anytime they wanted to. Both said they would love to but they also knew that this would probably never happen. Jane knew that by this time on the next day she will be caught deep in a case. As the dinner was over Henry was allowed to open one gift before going to bed. He picked one from Angela`s gifts. It was the book "The very hungry caterpillar". He loved receiving books and he made Jane read it to him before he went to bed this evening.

"How about you opening one of your presents now?" Jane asked Maura as Henry was fast asleep and Mauras parents excused themselves to the guesthouse.

Maura opened the box Jane handed her. There was a headband in it with mistletoe attached to it. Maura chuckled as she saw it and immediately put it on her head.

"You know that this is very cheesy, right? But I love it a lot."

"I know I know but I just love to kiss you all the time. And this is the best way to ensure you are going to kiss me all the time. Because you have to" Jane responded.

"What if I take it off?"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"No I wouldn't" Maura laughed and leaned in to kiss Jane for the first of the many times that night.

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**Hope you enjoyed my little Christmas fluff chapter. Actually I did not plan to make a whole chapter about christmas but it got so long that I though "Why not?" xD And since I am on Christmas break now I hope I can get 2 or 3 more chapters up before school starts back... Don't even ask me what happened with Angela in this chapter... I have no idea I just didn't do write her all nice idk... xD **

**And thanks for all the new followers and favorites and for the 2 reviews I received although it took me a while to find out what the french one said xD**

**Like always if you have suggestions or just want to leave me a nice comment reviews are always welcome ;) **

_*** "Vedi, zia vedi" means "Look aunt look!"**_

_**° " Ma lui anche ha freddo." means "But he is also cold" and **_

_**"Mi dispiace" means "I'm sorry**_

**The chapter title is a line from the song "Peppermint Winter" by Owl City.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm sorry ... I know I promised one in christmas break but writer's block came in the middle of it and then school and just... I'm so sorry...**

**So first of all I know this chapter is weird, but I needed Henry to be a little older for the following story developments, therefore the time-jump and the flashback scenes. ;) **

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**13**

**"Say you're forever and say that your heart's gonna stay"**

Jane was looking at the picture of her little brother that was placed on top of the fireplace in the living room. She couldn't believe it was already two years ago that Tommy had died. Two years in which her life changed completely and totally for the better. She has never been happier in her life. But 1st May was still a day for her that doesn't pass by easily. She was waiting for her mother and Frankie to arrive because they wanted to visit Tommy's grave and later that day she planned on visiting her brother`s grave on her own to give him one of her updates about the Rizzoli/Isles life. And although she knew it was silly to talk to a gravestone it gave her comfort to do so. Nobody but Maura knew about those "talks" Jane has now and then and she had no intention on changing that.

Her relationship with her mother was finally getting better again after Angela broke up with Frank a few months ago when Jane finally decided to tell what really happened between her and Frank after he found out that she was with Maura.

_Jane was sitting on one of the luxurious garden stools on the patio, sipping on her second bottle of beer although her 40__th__ birthday party was going on inside. This was the second birthday where her dad didn't even find it necessary to make a phone call to his daughter. Although Jane was still mad at him for everything he said to her and Maura, she was just as upset about how her father just completely erased her from his life. And she hated how her mother always had to decide who to spend the holidays with. After that first disaster Christmas they had to spend like that and the fight that resulted from that, Jane and her mother made up pretty quickly after. But lately her mother got pretty annoying about how Jane and her father should make up. Every time Angela came up with this topic Jane successfully changed the subject to avoid to tell her mother about what happened between them._

_"Janie, what are you doing here?" Angela asked causing Jane to choke on her beer. _

_"Geez, ma" Jane let out._

_"What's wrong? Why are you here outside?" Angela digged and sat down next to her daughter. _

_"Just thinking. Ma, did Pop not even say anything at all. I mean it's my 40__th__ birthday, I thought at least, maybe…" Jane said looking down. _

_"I'm sorry, baby" Angela said and put her hand on Jane's knee."You know I tried to talk to him…multiple times but just like you he always avoids the subject … especially what exactly happened between you two."_

_"You know what happened, he was wondering what he did wrong to deserve two gay kids, he called Maura a slut and since you're not going to stop asking, do you remember that bruise on my cheek I had? You know the one I said I had from playing basketball with Frost?"_

_Angela nodded._

_"I lied. That was dad's work, after I asked him how he, after all he did, dares to decide what's right or wrong." _

_Angela let out a gasp. For a moment she was speechless. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" she eventually asked shaking her head. Jane could see her mother's eyes filling with tears and immediately regretted her decision to tell her about it._

_"I don't know… You seemed happy with him again and I didn't want to ruin it."_

_"Oh Janie…" Angela said and hugged her daughter, and for once Jane didn't pull away. _

After a while alone at the cemetery, talking to Tommy, Jane finally got in her car to head home. She took a look at her cellphone. Three missed calls. Two from Maura. One from her mother. Of course Maura called, she was longer at Tommy's grave than she thought she would be. But she had so much to tell him about, everything that had happened in the last few months with Henry and her mother. She also told him about how fastFrankie's twins Daniella and Jordan are growing and how him and Riley were thinking about getting pregnant again. Jane also told him about her plan that she was going to fulfill on that day.

First Jane called back her mother to see what was going on. It turned out that Angela only wanted to confirm the time to pick up Henry tomorrow.

After that she called Maura. Before Maura could even say a word Jane already apologized for missing dinner. Maura told her that it was okay, that actually Henry wanted to call her to say goodnight.

"Hey Ma!" Jane heard Henry on the other end of the phone.

"Hey bud!"  
"Are you home, soon?"

"Yes very soon."

"Okay, I love you"

"I love you too, little man" Jane said and immediately heard the beep on the other line that indicated that Henry hung up. She couldn't help but smile at the fact that Henry now called her "Ma". Jane always swore that she would never have kids and being a mother was always something she never though she would accomplish. But now that Henry refered to her as his second mother she wouldn't change it for anything.

_Jane, Maura and Henry were sitting on the couch watching a baseball game. After the third inning Jane could see how bored Maura was. She told her that she doesn't have to watch the game if she didn't want to. At first Maura hesitated a little but then quickly excused herself by saying that she still had to look over some files for a case she was consulting Maura got up from the couch she placed a kiss on Henry's head and kissed Jane. _

_"Why do you and mommy kiss all the time" Henry asked as Maura was already out of hearing distance._

_"Umm…." Jane began to stumble. This was a question Jane wasn't expecting at all. She had no idea how to explain this and how much Maura wanted Henry to know. Although he was pretty smart for his age he still was only 4 years old. But eventually she continued _

_"Do you remember in "Tangled" when Flynn and Rapunzel kissed at the end? Why did they do that?"_

_Jane could see Henry thinking about the movie they saw about half a year ago. "Because they love each other!" he squealed after a while._

_"Exactly and your mommy and I we love each other too."_

_"But you are two girls" Henry said with a confused look on his face._

_"That's true. But, you know, sometimes two women fall in love with each other or two men fall in love with each other."_

_"That's cool" Henry said. Jane could see that Henry was thinking about something. After a moment of silence he finally asked_

_"So are you like my daddy now?"  
"Jane burst into laughter. "Something like that, yeah. But I don't think it would be a good idea to call me "daddy"" she said. She was surprised at how smart this little boy was._

_"But I can't call you "aunt" anymore" Henry countered._

_"Why not?" Jane asked._

_"Because everyone has an aunt but not everyone has two mommys. So I call you "Ma" now" Henry said with a smile on his face that was so wide and proud._

_Ma. This was a name Jane never thought someone would call her. But hearing Henry say it didn't bother her at all. _

_"I guess "Ma" is okay" Jane said with a sigh and placed a kiss on Henry's head. The little boy snuggled closer to Jane and hugged her waist. _

_"I love you, bud"_

_"I love you, Ma"_

_Jane looked up and saw Maura stand in the doorway. Maura wiped away a tear. This was possibly the cutest moment she had ever witnessed._

An hour after Jane came home Henry finally fell asleep. He insisted on staying up until Jane came home and even after that he didn't immediately go to bed. He told Jane about his afternoon. Jane thought she would never come out of his bedroom.

It was already after eight pm when Jane could even think about what she still had planned to do that day. When Jane volunteered to take out the trash Maura raised an eyebrow. Jane quickly went out of the house to avoid a question from her girlfriend.

When Jane came back in her heart was pounding and she was nervous. Even more nervous than she was almost two years ago when she told Maura that she was in love with her. She felt the velvet box in the pocket of her blazer. A wave of doubt hit her. Was she really ready for this? Was Maura ready for this? What if Maura said no? Could she handle it? Would they break up?

She watched Maura preparing for their weekly movie night. After Jane decided she would propose to Maura on that day she didn't even protest against the rom-com that Maura chose.

After an hour in the film Maura and Jane were pretty distracted from the movie. Maura moved to sit on Jane's lap. They kissed until they had to break away to get some air.

"Maur, I love you" Jane whispered in Maura's hair.

"I love you, too Jane." Maura purred and started to kiss down Jane's neck.

Jane let out a moan and was barely able to push Maura away.

"No Maura, wait" Jane said and saw the disappointment on her girlfriend's face.

She gave Maura a quick peck on her lips before she basically pushed her off of her lap. Maura looked a little confused until Jane got up and got down on one knee. Jane didn't care how cheesy and cliché this was.

She heard Maura whisper "Oh my god" before she got the little velvet box out of her pocket.

"Maura Dorthea Isles, would you do me the honor to marry me?" Jane said almost stumbling over her words.

It didn't even take Maura a second to say "yes", with tears in her eyes she nodded heavily. All the anxiety fell off Jane and she put the ring on Maura's finger. Still nodding Maura threw her arms around Jane's neck and hugged her tightly.

"Jane…I …. Oh my god… I love you so much" Maura said crying.

An hour later Jane and Maura lay in their bed. Maura's head placed on Jane's chest. Jane was playing with Maura's hair. Maura couldn't stop looking at her ring. Her engagement ring.

"The ring is gorgeous, Jane" Maura said for the 500th time.

"Not as gorgeous as you, babe" Jane replied.

"Do you already have a date in mind for the wedding?" Maura asked

"Not really, no. But I thought August. At our anniversary, maybe"

"That's in 3 months. I guess it's doable. I can't wait to be Mrs. Rizzoli" Maura said smiling that gorgeous smile that Jane so loved, her hazel eyes sparkling with joy.

"Gosh, Maura I love you so much" Jane said again and kissed Maura passionately.

The next morning Jane and Maura were called to a case very early. A little girl was found dead in an alley. Two gunshot wounds in the chest. Jane and Maura decided to keep their engagement under wraps until this case was solved.

Maura was leaning over the body of the little girl as her phone rang. She reached for the smart phone that was resting on a tray next to her autopsy tools. As she saw Frosts name on the display she had an instant feeling that something was wrong. Frost never calls her, usually Jane does. With shaking hands she pressed the accept button.

„Isles" she answered trying to hide the paranoid panic that overcame her every time she got a call when Jane was out in the streets.

„Maura" she heard Frost say. By the sound of his voice Maura felt her knees go weak, she stumbled to the nearest stool and collapsed on it. „It's Jane.." the detective continued. Maura could hear that he was holding back tears. „You have to come to the hospital" Frost said, this time he let out a small sob. Maura mumbled a silent „okay" and hung up. It took her a while to get back up. She felt tears running down her cheeks. She was sure for a second her heart stopped. A wave of nausea hit her until she hung over the sink, vomiting, crying. _This can't be happening…. not now… please no_ she tought as she looked at her engagement ring that rested on the desk.

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**So a little cliffhanger here. I'm sorry but the last chapters were just too fluffy, there has to be a little drama, right?**

**And can I get like extra creativity points for the names of Frankie's twins? xD I guess not xDD**

**Seriously I'm so surprised that this story has this many followers ... I never thought I would even get one... and let's face it the story really isn't that good. And I'm completely aware of that but thank you guys for reading and leaving reviews and favoring. And I would love love love to get some reviews and opinions from you guys.**

**To the guest who left a comment about me killing off Tommy: I totally regretted that I did it two chapter after I did it xD**

**The chapter title is a line from the song "Enough for always" by Kate Voegele**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry guys... but school... I'm so sorry I left you hanging like that. You deserve so much better. The response to my last chapter was so overwhelming. I love you guys.**

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**Chapter 14**

„**You can feel the light start to tremble, washing what you know out the sea"**

Maura needed a few moments to recollect herself. Before rushing out of the morgue she left a note for Suzie to call Dr. Pike as her substitude. Although she didn't even want him anywhere near her office let alone a victim, she knew she was gonna be in the hospital for longer.

It's been two days since they found the first victim and this morning they finally got a lead. On the leather jacket of victim number two, 9-year old Sarah Mallard, they found fingerprints which lead to an already once convicted pedophile who was released from prison a month earlier. After they found out where the ex-con was staying Jane, Frost and Korsak were already on their way to get him. Maura always was full of sorrow whenever Jane was in the streets but this morning she was extremely worried. She even thought about asking Jane to stay and let Korsak and Frost go without her. But after a while she realised that Jane would never do that and that she would probably look like a fool begging Jane to stay. Maura had no idea why she suddenly felt like this, maybe it was their new relationship status or maybe she had a kind of sixth sense this morning.

Maura rushed out of the precinct, tears clouding her eyes. She looked around. Where was her car? She couldn't find the blue Prius anywhere, until it hit her. They came in Jane's car this morning. Maura quickly took out her phone to call a cab. She didn't even think about asking Angela to drive or even telling Angela at all. Her thoughts only circled around what could've happened to Jane that would let her end up in the hospital. Her thoughts always came back to that Jane was shot. Maura remembered the last time Jane was shot after they were held hostage by a dirty cop. Jane almost died and was in pain afterwards for 3 thought back to the phonecall with Frost. She clearly remembered him sobbing, which wasn't a good sign. She cursed herself for not asking what happened.

The drive to the hospital seemed like and eternity for Maura. She looked down at her engagement ring. Only 3 days ago she was happier than she ever was before. Maybe Jane was right, their life was too good to be true. She thought back at the conversation she had with Jane about a week back.

_Jane let out a big sigh of relief after she let herself fall on the couch. The last couple of days have been pure hell for her and Maura. They have been working for 3 days straight, only taking an hour off a day to spend at least a little time with their son. _

„_I think I'm getting too old for this" Jane said and yawned. Maura chuckled and placed her head on Jane's lap, happy to finally be able to lay down and relax a little. It was hard to get Henry to bed this evening because he was just so excited to have his moms back. _

_Both of them sat there, enjoying the silence, that so rarely was present for about half an hour. Jane playing with a strand of Maura's hair. _

„_Do you sometimes have the feeling that our life is too perfect? That every moment something bad could happen and ruin everything?" Jane said suddenly. _

„_Jane, you know I don't believe in things like that. Don't worry, honey. Nothing will happen." Maura answered and took Janes hand in her own, kissing the scar on her palm, like she always does to calm her down. „I love you" _

„_I love you, too" _

When Maura finally arrived at the hospital, she just through some bills at the driver, jumped out of the cab and rushed over to the entrance of the building. She saw Frost waiting there. This picture of Frost standing in front of the hospital, a cup of coffee in his hand, immediately threw Maura all these years back after Jane shot herself and almost died.

She reached Frost. „I'm sorry" Frost said repeatedly „I'm so sorry, Maura. I should've-.."

„What happened?" Maura interrupted him.

„She got shot. Two times. She fell down the stairs. When I got to her she was unconconcious. I shouldn't have let her go alone." was all Frost could say. He had no idea what exactly happened and how Jane could've not noticed the man on the bottom of the stairs.

„You did great, kid. You were there in time to shoot him before he could put a bullet in her head" Korsak said suddenly pulling up behind the young detective.

_Jane, Frost and Korsak arrived at the address they got after running the fingerprints they found on the jacket of the second victim. A 9-year old girl. It always got to Jane when the victims were children. She tried to shake the thought away, what if Henry once ended up as a victim, she had no idea how she would cope with this. _

_Slowly the three detectives entered the house, such a big house. They spread apart. Jane and Frost went up the stairs. Jane turned left. Frost right. After Jane found that nothing was in the room she went in she got back out in the hall. For a moment her thoughts went to Henry and Maura, how worried Maura must be. Lately she found that she wasn't able to focus on her job that well. All she thought about was how horrible it would be for her son and her fiancee if something would happen to her, how she would no longer be able to protect them. She snapped herself out of her thoughts. She was on a job for god's sake. She should only think about what was happening right here, right now. _

_Just as she stepped down one of the steps, she heard a noise at the bottom of the stairs. Someone just pulled a trigger. Before she could even think she felt a bullet enter her right shoulder. She let out a scream, stumbled down another step until she lost her balance. In her fall down the stairs she felt another bullet enter her left thigh. As she landed on the bottom of the stairs she saw the barrel of a gun in front of her face. Everything was blurry, she knew she was about to die. „I'm sorry, Maura" she let out. The last thing she heard was the sound of another gun going off then she lost conciousness. _

It took everything from Maura to not burst into tears, to not just curl up in a corner and just cry. All she could do was wait. The first half hour she was just sitting there, not speaking not even thinking, doing nothing at all. After that she wandered up and down the waiting room, feeling Frosts and Korsaks concered looks on her.

„Did anyone even call Angela or Frankie?" Maura said all of a sudden. Both detectives shook their head. Frost took out his cellphone „I'm gonna call Frankie"

„I'm gonna call Angela. And you call someone to take care of your son." Korsak said to Maura.

„Oh my god" Maura let out. Henry … she hadn't even spent one thought on who was going to take care of him. The only solution was Cailin. She was in town to visit Hope.

„Hey." Maura said as she heard her sister picking up.

„Hey, Maura… what's wrong?" Cailin asked.

„Can you do me a huge favor?"

„After what you did for me, basically anything!"

Maura told her what happened to Jane, how she needed to stay in the hospital and that she need someone to watch Henry. Of course Cailin immediately agreed.

„Maura, to you know anything, yet!" Maura heard Angela say as she stormed into the waiting room.

„Not really. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you when I got the call. I just wasn't thinking about it. I'm so sorry, Angela" Maura apologized.

„It's okay, honey. It's okay. Come here." Angela said and hugged Maura. And in Angela's arms she was no longer able to hold it back. She finally was able to let her tears fall. „Oh Maura. She's gonna be okay. She's gonna be okay" Angela said stroking Maura's head, probably more to convince herself than her daughter's girlfriend. As she sat there with Maura crying on her shoulder she remembered the last time she was in the hospital with Maura, after Paddy Doyle was shot. She remembered how Maura refused to be hugged by her, how she told her that she was used to being alone, how she doesn't need a hug. That was not the case anymore, and it hasn't been for such a long time now. Maura wasn't used to being alone anymore, she needed Jane.

Another half hour later one of Jane's doctors finally appeared. After he told Maura everything about Jane's condition she reported everything the doctor said to Frost, Korsak, Frankie and Angela. „He said that Jane lost a lot of blood because of the gunshots and due to her internal bleeding she crashed once during the surgery. They were able to stop the bleedings and she is stable, for now. She also broke a few ribs and her left arm. And of course because of the fall there is a possibility for neurological damage, but we won't know that until she wakes up, which could be anytime. Tomorrow or in a week." Maura said matter-of-factly shutting down her feelings completely.

„So she's gonna survive, right?" Frankie asked.

„Like I said. We have to wait 24 hours so we can say that for sure." Maura answered sitting back down next to Angela.

She had to wait another half hour until she was able to see Jane. There she was, her beautiful fiancée, lying in the hospital bed, her left arm in a cast, bandages on her shoulder, her head and her thigh. Maura sat down on the chair next to the bed. Everything felt so surreal up until now. She was hoping all of this was just some kind of sick joke, Jane was okay and would come and hug her every minute. But now sitting next to unconscious Jane Maura just broke down and started to cry uncontrollably for what seemed an eternity to her.

„Hey, baby." Maura said as she calmed down a little. „Don't you dare die. I need you. Henry needs you. I love you Jane. Please, don't die." She sobbed and placed a kiss on Jane's forehead.

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**I know the scenario how Jane got hurt was crap... but I had like 4 different ones and this was the best one (as you might remember from how Tommy got killed I'm really not good with making up things like that) **

**Sorry, but you will see in the next chapter why I had to do this to Jane. **

**To the someone who asked about the name "Daniela"... it's the name of the actress who played Riley... When I say I'm uncreative then hell I am uncreative xD.**

**Thanks for reading. I love you guys :***

**The chapter title is from the song "If I lose myself" by OneRepublic**


	15. Chapter 15

**I know too long again, I'm sorry. But hey, school is officially over and I probably be able to update more regularly now! So have fun reading.**

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**15**

**"No need to pray, no need to speak, now I'm under"**

Angela was standing in the doorway to Jane's hospital room leaning against the door frame. She looked worriedly at both, her daughter and Maura. It's been two days since Jane got shot. She still hasn't woken up yet. Maura was a mess, she hasn't been eating or sleeping or doing anything else than sitting next to her girlfriend's hospital bed since she was first able to go see Jane. Angela just received a worried phone call from Constance, Henry was not doing good. He missed Maura and Jane, had no idea what was going on and he had trouble sleeping.

„Maura, sweetie" Angela said and sat down next to her daughter's girlfriend. „You should really go home, get some sleep"

Maura was snapped out of her thoughts. As she realized what Angela said she shook her head heavily. „Angela, I can't…"

„You have to. Please. Sweetheart, this is not good for you. And Henry, I just talked to your mother, he is not…"

„Angela, please stop. I know I should be with him. I know it, okay. But I can't leave her alone… I can't" Angela saw tears cloud Mauras face.

„You can't really help her, Maura." Angela said fighting her own tears. Of course it wasn't easy for Angela as well, but over the years, with two kids being in law enforcement, she got a pretty thick skin for injuries and hospitals.

Maura nodded. „I know" she said almost inaudible. She knew Angela was right, she knew there was nothing she could do to help Jane. She knew she should be with Henry, talk to him, comfort him but she also just couldn't just go out of the hospital, leaving Jane. Maura knew all the statistics, she knew that with Jane#s Glasgow coma scale score she had a almost 90% chance of waking up and recovering well after that. But all those statistics and knowledge for once in her life didn't comfort her all. Maura felt Angela's hand rubbing small circles on her back.

„Angela, what if she doesn't wake up?" Maura said her voice thick with tears.

„She's strong, Maura. She has something worth fighting for. She will wake up, I'm sure." Angela said placing a kiss on Maura's temple.

xxx

„If you need to talk don't hesitate to call me, okay?" Riley said after bringing Maura home. Although Maura and Riley didn't really have the best relationship over the course of the last two years, Riley was really worried about her friend's girlfriend. Maura nodded. Riley pulled her in for a goodbye hug. „Everything's going to be fine" she said before she went off. Maura was so sick of hearing this over and over again. She hated how everyone was so sure that Jane will be fine. She hated that she couldn't be this positive. As soon as Maura entered the house Jo Friday was running her way. She was clearly disappointed to notice that it was Maura and not Jane. „I'm sorry, baby. It's just me." Maura said and kneeled down to pet the little dog. „Mommy, Mommy!" Maura heard Henry shout and soon after he fell into her arms. She picked him up and kissed him on the cheek."Hey little man" she whispered in his ear.

xxx

„I think I should go now." Constance said about two hours after her arrival. „But Maura, I have to tell you something first. Can we go in another room for a moment?"

„Sure." Maura answered and got up. Henry was sitting on the floor, stroking Jo Friday with one and Bass with the other hand.

„What's wrong, mother?" Maura said as she saw her mother's concerned look.

„It's about Henry. Just to give you a heads up. He has trouble sleeping. I think he has nightmares. Nightmares of something happening to Jane. He wakes up every night at least two times, screaming for her. It's so hard to calm him down." Constance explained.

„How is he doing other than that?" Maura asked.

„Other than that he's fine. He doesn't really talk about what he dreamt about. I don't even think he remembers it."

„Do you think it would be a good idea if I'd take him to see her?"

„I think it would help him. To see that she's still there."

Maura nodded and clasped her hand over her really had to talk to Henry about what happened to Jane. Constance said her goodbyes to both Maura and Henry.

Henry was sitting quietly on the floor watching his favorite cartoon as Maura finally got herself together enough to not burst into tears when talking to her son.

„Henry, bud. Come here" Maura said. The little boy got up and walked over to the couch, sitting down next to his mother.

„Mommy, where's Ma?" he said looking at Maura with his big brown eyes.

„I told you. She got hurt."

„Did baddies do that?"

„Yes. She is in the hospital right now. And she is in something that's call a coma. That means she is sleeping really deep."

„Can't you just wake her up?"

„No I'm sorry buddy, she has to wake up on her own." Maura answered scrubbing Henry's back.

„Does she not want to wake up?"

„It's not that simple, buddy. I'm sure she wants to but she can't, something in her brain is stopping her."

Henry didn't say anything for a while. Maura thought she made a mistake, told him too much. But after a while he said. „Can I go see her tomorrow?"

„Sure, baby"

After Maura brought Henry to bed she went back into the living room and sat down next to a curled up Jo Friday on the couch. As the little dog realized that Maura just sat down she jumped in her lap and looked at her, almost apologetically.

„You miss her, too, huh. You miss your mommy, don't you?" Maura asked. Jo let out a silent wince before curling up in Maura's lap. Maura sat there for a few minutes petting the dog until she decided to go to sleep. She really needed it. After a long shower she finally lay down in her bed. She was tossing and turning. She just couldn't fall asleep, everything in this room, in this house reminded her of Jane or better of Jane's absence. After she decided to move to the guest room she finally found some sleep.

xxx

Maura was woken up by a cry that came from the direction of Henry's room. Maura opened her eyes and glanced at the clock on her nightstand. It was a little after midnight. It took Maura a while to fully wake up. Just as she got out of bed she heard Henry cry out again. She was on the way to his room before she could even think.

„Ma, don't go Ma" Henry screamed tossing in his bed. Maura could see tears running down his face. Maura sat down next to him and took him in her arms. He was screaming, crying, tossing and turning for another half hour. After that he fell asleep totally exhausted. Maura decided to let him sleep in her bed that night. At about 4 in the morning Henry had another nightmare and this time it was even harder to calm him down. When he finally fell back asleep Maura was too worked up to fall back asleep. She made her way out of her bed and took a book off of her bookshelf and sat down in the arm-chair, Jane wanted to get rid off seconds after she moved in.

Worried her eyes wandered to Henry every now and then. She didn't quite expect that it was this bad after her mother told her about Henry problems.

At 8 o'clock Henry finally began to stir. He looked around in confusion as he opened his eyes. Maura told him that after the nightmare he had Maura took him with her to sleep in her bed with her. He said that he didn't remember.

xxx

An hour after their breakfast togther Maura and Henry arrived at the hospital. Angela was still sleeping in the armchair, where Maura was sitting the day before. Carefully Maura woke her up. Of course the first thing Angela asked was if there were any news on Jane but Maura just shook her head. „Hey Nonna" Henry said and hugged his grandma. Angela put on her best fake smile and put her grandson on her lap.

„Can I go lay next to Ma?" Henry asked.

„Yeah, come here, but be careful, okay?" Maura said and hauled her son up and sat him down on Jane's hospital bed. He crawled up, laid down and put one arm around Jane's stomach. For a few moments he lay there in silence until he looked around.

„What's that, mommy?" he asked and pointed at the ECG monitor.

„That's an ECG monitor. This little line there shows the heartbeat of Ma. As long as it's moving up and down like that it means that her heart is beating, it means that she is alive" Maura explained.

„That's good then" Henry said.

xxx

An hour later Henry has fallen asleep next to Jane. Of course he was totally sleep deprived after the last couple of days. Angela has gone home a while ago and Maura was sitting in the armchair now. She felt tears falling down again. As she heard the door open she wiped her tears away. Everyone must feel so annoyed by her constant crying already. Riley stepped in and as she saw Henry sleeping next to Jane she let out and „Aww". She sat down on the chair next to Maura.

„How are you?" Riley asked Maura

„Okay, as okay as I can be, I guess. I wasn't able to fall asleep in our bed, though. And Henry kept me up most of the night, too. He has nightmares of something happening to Jane, probably her dying and it's horrible. And I can't stop to think about losing her. I keep thinking about her waking up and not remembering me or Henry or her waking up and not remembering that we are together and that she is so much more to Henry now than just his aunt. Or that she forgets about the last few years and I have to tell her about Tommy's death. I don't know if I can see her get through this again. But I just really want her to wake up" Maura said.

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**I know this isn't revealing but I just wanted to get something up. But just to clarify that: Jane is not going to die. **

**To that someone who asked about my "weird quotes before a dialog". I'm sorry my word does that when I hit the quotes key. In German you just put the quotes lower case when you start a dialog. Sorry if it annoys you but idk how to change it and I'm not gonna change them all manually here in the Doc Manager. **

**Thanks for reading. I love you guys.**

**The chapter title is a line from "Never let me go" by Florence + the machine. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey guys new update! Enjoy ;) Also a big hello to the new followers. I love you guys, all of you!**

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**"Chapter 16"**

**"And unless you come back, I'll be one step closer to insane"**

Another 2 days went by in which neither Jane's nor Henry's codition got any better. Henry still had his nightmares which costed both Henry and Maura sleep and nerves. Everyday after breakfast they went to visit Jane, where Henry could finally find some sleep at Jane's side. In the meantime Maura either watched Henry sleep or were talked to by Angela. But Maura rarely really listened to what Angela said. Every now and then she say a short „mmh" to at least give the impression she was listening.

This afternoon Angela didn't stay with her, so Maura was watching her little boy sleeping curled up at her finacèe's side. The sight of Jane unconscious in that hospital bed still brought tears to her eyes. She missed Jane and wanted nothing more than for her to wake up but with every day that passed by Maura lost more and more hope. She wished she could be as positive about this situation as every one else in Jane's family apparently was. Riley always said that Jane wouldn't miss the opportunity to marry Maura and therefore would do everything to wake up. Angela said something similar to that just that she didn't know the little detail about Jane and Maura being engaged. Maura couldn't quite bring herself to tell Frankie shared Maura's doubts and fears. He was also concerned about a possible brain damage of Jane's. A fact that neither Angela nor Riley wouldn't even want to think about for a second.

So Maura now only cried when she knew she was alone, because she just couldn't handle the it's gonna be okay's anymore. On this afternoon alone in Jane's hospital bed she cried. As she heard the open she quickly wiped her tears away, expecting it to Angela to enter the room she looked up. But it wasn't Angela. It was entirely different Rizzoli. One she hasn't seen in almost 2 years. Frank was standing in the door frame. Maura let out a small gasp as she saw him. He looked older than he did the last time she saw him, way older.

„Mr. Rizzoli, I don't think…." Maura started.

„No. Dr. Isles, please. I'm here to apologize, to you, to Jane" his gaze wandered to his daughter. „I know what I said and what I did can not be fixed with one simple apology, actually it can not be fixed at all. But after I heard what heard what happened to my little girl I just have to try."

_His little girl,_ Maura thought. She always knew that Frank still loved Jane even after the things he said to her and although Jane was convinced otherwise. Maura also knew that although Jane was mad at her father she wanted nothing more than making peace with him. But still Maura had no idea how Jane would react to Frank's sudden appearance when she woke up.

It was silent for a moment. Frank's gaze was still on Jane. „Is that…"

„Tommy's son? … yes" Maura responded to the half-asked question.

Another very long moment of silence later Maura and Frank started to talk. Frank told her about how he's been thinking a lot about his behaviour 2 years ago. How he wanted to make peace with his family especially with Jane because after he heard what happened to Jane he noticed how much he loved her.

„Mr. Rizzoli…" Maura started after a while of listening to the repeating apologies between their conversation.

„Frank"

„Frank, I don't know how Jane will react to this but I accept your apology"

Maura could see Frank's eyes light up a little, clearly this situation between him and Jane didn't let him cold at all.

„Who's that, mommy?" Maura heard Henry say, who sat up and rubbed the sleepiness out of his eyes.

Maura hesitated for a while. What if Jane didn't react that well to the apology?

„It's Ma's daddy, bud" Maura said ultimately. She just had a feeling that Jane would approve of Henry getting to know his grandfather, even though maybe she wouldn't accept the apology.

„So he is my grandpa then?" Henry asked.

„Yes." Maura answered. Henry looked curiously at Frank, who weakly smiled back.

After Henry finished bombarding Frank with every possible question he could think of, Maura and Henry went home. And although Henry slept most oft he afternoon he was quick to fall asleep. But Maura, as always, wasn't. She just couldn't fall asleep without Jane next to her and also the possibility of Henry's nightmares did really make it easier for her. She finally found sleep at around midnight but just an hour later she was woken up by the ringtone she especially assigned for the hospital. _Jane,_ she thought and reached for her phone that was resting on the night stand.

„Isles" she said, her voice shaking.

„Dr. Isles, this is Dr. Manning. I'm sorry to call at this hour but Jane woke up and she has been asking for you ever since"

Maura mumbled a quick thank you and said that she is going to be there as soon as possible. She was up and dressed in a heartbeat. Her heart was racing and she felt tears of joy running down her cheeks. Not only did Jane wake up, she was asking about her, she remembered her.

Maura felt bad for calling up her mother at this hour but she really didn't want to take Henry. Constance came around half an hour after Maura called her.

With it being almost 2 am the streets of Boston were basically empty and Maura was fast to be at the hospital.

„Hey baby" Jane said as she saw Maura entering the hospital room. As Maura came closer Jane tried to sit up but winced because of the pain that her broken rip caused and she lay back down. She shot a questioning look at Maura.

„You have a broken rip, honey." Maura responded and kissed Jane.

„What happened anyways? I just remember that Frost, Korsak and I went into a suspects house and then just blank."

Maura told Jane the story of how she got injured and everything else that happened in the last week. She told her about Henry's nightmares only after Jane specifically asked how Henry was dealing with this whole situation. The only thing that Maura left out was Frank's visit. She didn't want to let their night be ruined by the possible not so great reaction of Jane's to this news.

„Come here, baby." Jane said as Maura let out a yawn. With her not injured hand she patted the spot next to her right side on the bed. Maura layed down where Henry was sleeping the last 3 afternoons. She rested her head on Jane's shoulder.

„Is it okay like that?" Maura asked hoping she didn't hurt Jane in anyway so she could keep laying like that.

„It's perfect" Jane responded.

Both of them lay there in perfect silence for a while.

„I missed you. I was so scared you would wake up and not remember that we were together or not remember me at all."

„I could never forget you, Maura."

„This is not…"

„Shh…. I love you."

„I love you, too."

„My Maura"

„My Jane"

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**I know it's a tad bit short but it felt like a good point to stop. **

**Thank you LOCISVU for reviewing every chapter up until now. I really appreciate it.**

**But I really would love to hear some other reviews as well. **

**The chapter titel is from the song "Counting the ways" by Kate Voegele.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey! Thanks for the new follows, favorites and reviews. I love you guys! Enjoy reading. **

* * *

**"Chapter 17"**

**„If we only die once I wanna die with you"**

Jane and Maura were woken up only a few hours later by the the doctors doing the morning rounds. Dr. Manning's interns, Jack and Gretchen, who Maura got to know quite good during the last 4 days asked Maura to leave the room until they were finished with Jane's check up. Only reluctantly Maura got up, kissed Jane and left the room. As she stepped into the hospital corridor it hit her that she should probably call Angela, Frankie, Frost and Korsak to tell them the good news. Of course everyone was thrilled to hear that Jane was awake and they said they would all come by the hospital over the course of the day. Just as Maura finished the last call, that went to her mother to check up on Henry, she was let into Jane's hospital room again. She immediately returned to the exact same spot she lay before and snuggled up at Jane's side.

„…and Henry didn't have any nightmares last night" Maura ended to inform Jane about her phone calls. She said that Angela and Frankie would be there any minute, Henry and Constance would come by after Henry ate breakfast and Frost and Korsak decided to around in the late afternoon.

„That's amazing. See I told you he will be fine" Jane said and kissed Maura on the top of her head. Maura snuggled closer to Jane.

„Ow" Jane let out as Maura's hand brushed against Jane's broken rip.

„Oh my god, Jane…. I'm so sorry" Maura said, looking like she was about to cry, like it hurt her just as much as it hurt Jane.

„It's okay, baby… it's okay. Don't worry….Just don't do it again" Jane said to calm down Maura.

Not even half and hour later they were interrupted yet again. This time by Angela and Frankie. Again Maura left the room. She just felt like Jane, her mother and brother should be alone, at least for a while. After about 10 minutes of thinking about it back and forth Maura decided to call Frank to tell him about Jane's condition although she hadn't mentioned Frank to Jane in any word yet.

Meanwhile Jane was getting pretty annoyed by her mother's smothering. Of course Jane didn't expect anything else, even though Maura told her that Angela was pretty positive about the whole situation. Frankie was just happy that his sister was better and he tried his best to keep Angela from annoying Jane too much.

Just as Angela started her usual „Why did you have to become a detective?" speech and Jane was about to throw her out of the room, she was saved by Maura entering the room again, and with her Henry and Constance.

„Ma, Ma!" Henry exclaimed and jumped on Jane's bed, snuggling close to her, just like he did the last 3 days.

Maura could see Jane flinch a little after Henry wrapped his arm around Jane's waist.

„Henry, I said you should be careful." Maura said a little harsher than intended.

„I'm sorry" Henry replied looking from Maura to Jane.

„It's okay, Maura. I'm fine." Jane said and shot a disapproving look into Maura's direction.

„I'ts okay, bud." Jane said to Henry, who looked like she was about to cry and ruffled through his hair. „It's okay. You know, your mommy wasn't all that careful earlier today also." Jane whispered into her son't ear so comfort him a little.

Henry giggled and kissed Jane on her cheek. „I missed you, Ma."

Constance said how happy she was that Maura was doing better and that she hoped that Jane was going to be able to go home soon. After an hour of all of them caught up with each other, Constance, Angela and Frankie left to leave Maura, Jane and Henry alone. The three oft hem really didn't do anything besides enjoying being together and talk about a few things. After they spent most of the day together Maura and Henry left in the afternoon.

„Ma, when are you coming home?" Henry asked as Maura was putting on his shoes.

„I don't know, little man, but I hope soon." Jane replied and kissed both Maura and Henry goodbye.

Jane was close to crying after her fiancée and her son left. The thought of Henry crying and screaming in his sleep and Maura sitting in that hospital chair crying over her just broke her heart.

Half an hour later Frost and Korsak came by. Both were, of course, happy that Jane was doing better and that her fall didn't cause any serious damage. Korsak was used to visiting other cops at the hospital after they got hurt during an assignment but with Jane being the one that was hurt it was something totally different. Frost was silent most of visit. He was still convinced that everything that happened was his fault, although everyone had told him otherwise.

„Frost, what's up?" Jane said breaking the silence.

„Jane, I'm really sorry… I should've …." Frost said , his voice breaking.

Slowly it dawned on Jane what was going on with her partner. „Frost, this wasn't your fault. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't even be here anymore. You shot that bastard before he could shoot me. You saved my life, man. Thank you."

xxx

That night Maura went to bed a lot less worried than she did over the last week. Jane was finally doing better and with that she hoped that also Henry's nightmares would stop. Although it still took her long to fall asleep without Jane next to her, she fell asleep far earlier than in the last couple of days.

However, around midnight, Maura heard Henry cry and scream. It took half an hour for Henry to calm down and another half hour for them to fall back to sleep.

xxx

The next morning Henry was all bubbly and nobody could tell how much he cried the night before. As Maura tried to ask him about the nightmare he had he simply said that he didn't remember to have any dream. After breakfast he announced that he would love to go to school that day. Although surprised Maura didn't deny Henry his wish and dropped him off at school with the promise that immediately after school he was able to visit Jane. „Of course, bud. Have a good day. I love you." Maura said and kiss her son goodbye before she drove off in the direction of the hospital.

Jane was still asleep when Maura entered Jane's hospital room, so she sat down on the chair that she got so familiar with over the last week and started ot read the book she brought along.

An hour later Jane woke up „Hey baby" she said as she saw Maura. „How long have you been sitting there?" she continued as she took a look at the clock.

„About an hour or longer, I don't rememember" Maura responded, closed her book and walked over to Jane's bed.

„Why didn't you wake me?" Jane asked pulling Maura closer to kiss her.

„You need your rest, sweetheart" Maura replied after she broke away from the kiss.

„I think I had my fair share of rest, don't you think?" Jane said and laughed, which she immediately regretted because of the pain in her rip area.

It didn't take long until Maura lay down at the same spot she was laying the day before.

„Where is our little man, by the way?" Jane asked after a while.

„At school. He insisted on going. Although he had a pretty bad nightmare again last night, it took me forever to calm him down." Maura replied.

„You could've called me, you know. Maybe hearing my voice would help him to calm down me if he has a nightmare again to call me. Okay? I'm worried about him too, Maura."

„I know, Jane. And I promise" Maura said.

Maura and Jane lay there in perfect silence for a while, Jane playing with Maura's hair, Maura drawing circles on Jane's stomach. After some time Maura decided to finally face the inevitable and tell Jane about her father visiting. She slowly sat up. „Jane, I have to tell you something. And please promise me you won't get mad" Maura started.

„Did cheat on me?" Jane said jokingly.

„Jane…." Maura said tilting her head like she always does when Jane made one of her jokes.

„Okay…. What is it?" as Maura still showed no intention on speaking up Jane added „I promise I won't get mad"

Maura sighed „Your dad was here the other day. He apologized for what he said and what he did. And he said how much…"

„Wait… you didn't accept his apology, did you?" Jane interrupted her fiancée.

„I… I did"

„Oh, Maura, come on… really?"

„Jane, look, the told me that he realized how wrong his behaviour was and over the last year he realized how much you and Frankie mean to him. And how much he regrets everything that happened and everything he said about you, Tommy and me. He really wants to sort things out with you."

„Do you really believe him?"

„Yes, Jane, I do. He seemed genuine. He really wants to make up with you."

„What if I don't want to?" Jane snapped.

„Come on, Jane. Don't be ridiculous. I know as well as you do that you want nothing more than sort this out." Maura replied.

„Oh really? Dr. Smartypants. Since when do you know things without prove?"

„You behaviour over the last two years whenever someone mentioned your father is all the prove I need, Detective Smartypants" Maura replied and leant forward to kiss Jane.

„So can I call your dad to come by?" Maura asked.

Jane let out an overdramatic sigh „Yeah, let's get this over with"

Maura smiled, got up and searched for her phone.

„Jane, I love you" Maura said before she dialed Franks number.

„I love you,too baby" Jane replied.

* * *

**A/N: Maybe you see now why I had to hurt Jane. I saw no other way to make Frank realize how much Jane still means to him. My options were hurt Jane or hurt Frank and by hurting Frank it would have probably ended in him dying and I couldn't do this to Jane. **

**Please leave some reviews. I love hearing from you guys.**

**The chapter title is a line from the song "Something I need" by OneRepublic**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey! Thanks for the follows and favorites. And thank you thank you thank you for reading it. Enjoy reading.**

* * *

**"Chapter 18"**

**„So much time should not have passed at least not that way and not so fast"**

While Maura was talking to Frank she could hear the relieve in his voice when she said that Jane was okay with him coming by and trying to sort things out. Jane also was happy about this development. All her life her father was an important person in her life, someone she could always confide in. He was her role model, she idolized him. Not having him in her life for the last 4 years was really hard on Jane. Although she acted like she didn't care about whether or not she and Frank would make up she hoped that she could at least built a little bond with her father again. And she loved Maura for knowing her this well, knowing how much the relationship with her father meant to her and for convincing her to talk to Frank. She just hoped that Frank really would apologize and not say something that would drift them even further apart. As much as she hated to admit it, she would love to have Frank at her wedding. Maybe even dance with him, like they often did when Jane was still a little girl. Jane was completely caught in her memories when Maura hung up.

„He's coming in an hour." Maura said and put her phone back into her purse. As Jane didn't at all pay any attention do what Maura said, she added „Jane, did you hear me?"

„What?…no… sorry" Jane replied. „I just thought about a few things. What did you say?"

„Frank's coming in an hour" Maura repeated „What were you thinking about?"

As Maura lay down next to Jane again, Jane told her about the many good memories she had with her father. How they would often dance in their living room. How often Jane helped Frank with his work and how much he taught her about plumbing. And of course she told her about the countless hours they spent in their back yard playing baseball and football. Jane also mentioned how much she wanted Frank to be a part of their wedding. And soon enough they were talking about wedding plans.

„Still in for marrying on that volcano?" Jane teased.

„No…." Maura answered. She was surprised that Jane remembered Maura's dream wedding she told her about years ago. Maura hasn't really thought about how their wedding should be. This wasn't her priority at all over the last couple of days. At the moment Maura didn't really care about how their wedding should be or where it was going to be held. What type of dress she would wearing or which cake was going to be served. All she cared about was that she was going to be able to marry Jane. She was happy that Jane was alive and well. Again Maura's mind wandered to how it would've been if Jane would've die. And again she couldn't hold back her tears by the thought of it.

„Oh god, sweetheart. What's wrong?" Jane asked as she noticed that Maura was sobbing.

„It's just …I…I almost lost you, Jane" she answered, burying her head into Jane's shoulder.

Jane kissed Maura on the top of her head „I know, honey and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I made you and everyone else go through this. I should've…"

„No, Jane, no. What are you talking about. This wasn't your fault"

„It was, Maura. I wasn't focused on the job. I wasn't in my space. All I could think about was you and Henry. What would happen to you guys if I got killed. Gosh, Maura, I didn't even hear this guy coming until he pulled that trigger." Jane explained. „I don't know what's wrong with me, Maur… I don't think…" she was interrupted by a knock at the door. Jane was happy about this interruption because she wasn't quite ready to talk about the decision she already kind of made in her mind over the last two days. A decision that would change her life completely.

Jane said a „Come in" and Frank entered the room. After an uncomfortably long moment of awkward silence Maura said a friendly hello and decided to leave the room to leave Jane and her father alone. As she got up she squeezed Jane's hand to encourage her.

Frank was still standing next to the door after Maura past him to leave the room, he wasn't sure if he was allowed to get closer to his daughter. He was fidgeting, something Jane has never seen him do before. She realized that her father was just as nervous and anxious as she was. As she looked at him she noticed how different he looked than the last time she saw him. He looked older and also he looked sad and not at all like her father.

Jane sat up even though her rip still hurt in the process of doing so. But for the first time since she woke up she was able to stay seated without it hurting too much. 5 minutes later both, Frank and Jane, still haven't said anything. Both of them waiting for the other to start. Both of them not completely ready to swallow their pride.

„Maybe this was a bad idea" Frank said his hand already on the doorknob.

„No… wait" Jane replied „_You_ wanted to talk to me. So talk" Jane pointed at the chair for Frank to sit down. Eventually Frank moved from his safe spot next to the door closer to Jane's bed. After he sat down he started to talk about all the things that he already talked about with Maura a few days earlier. He told Jane how happy he was that she was okay and that he could now sort things out and that he was able to apologize. Also he said how much it was still bothering him that he never had the chance to do the same with Tommy. And also that he deeply regretted everything he said about Tommy, Giovanni, Jane and Maura. He regretted not going to Tommy's funeral and he said that he knew how much he acted like an asshole. He ended with how much Jane meant to him and that he would more than happy to have a relationship with her again.

Jane just sat there and took it all in. Of course she wanted to make up with Frank but on the other hand she couldn't just forgive and forget all the things that went down in the process of her telling him that she was gay. The things he said, especially calling Maura a slut, were still hurting Jane. So when he asked if she accepted his apology she replied „I can't just forgive and forget what you said over night. But I'm gonna try. You know, I really do want to have a bond with you always had this amazing relationship and I miss that"

„Me too" Frank replied and Jane could see that his eyes were teary. He really did change a lot.

„You know I got to meet Henry the other day. Smart kid." he continued trying hard to hold back the tears by changing the subject. „Tell me about him"

Jane told him about how much Henry was like Tommy, not just lookwise but also his behaviour, how he started to call her „Ma" about 2 months ago and that she was planning on adopting him after she and Maura got married.

„Did you ever hear anything from Lydia?" Frank asked.

„No, nothing"

„That's good. I'm happy that Maura adopted Henry. She seems like a good mother and also a perfect match for you"

„Yeah, she is amazing." Jane replied surprised at Frank's comment. He never was that type of guy who would talk much about feelings and he certainly never talked about any of Jane's boyfriends that way. Also Jane never really gave them the opportunity to get to know her parents.

xxx

Maura, meanwhile, was sitting in the waiting room. Two patients were sitting at the table next to her's and were talking about the reality show that was on TV. Maura tried to read her book but her mind wandered off to the conversation she just had with Jane. Was Jane going to quit being a detective? Although Maura knew how selfish it was, this was secretly Maura's biggest wish, to have Jane out of the danger she was facing every day. However Maura would never say anything like that to Jane, she knew how much she loved her job. Maura eventually decided to not think about it anymore and also to not bring up this subject again until Jane did.

xxx

After Frank left Jane was happy. Although she told her father that she still need some time she knew that things are going to be fine between them soon enough.

As Maura re-entered the room she was more than happy to see Jane smiling. She knew this thing could've ended even worse than it was before.

„How did it go?" Marua asked.

„Okay… I guess. I'm not 100% ready to forget everything but it's gonna get there eventually" Jane answered „Thank you… for convincing me to talk to him."

„No problem"

„What did Henry think about him?" Jane asked.

„Oh, he loved him. He bombarded him with questions and held him here for hours. He asked about meeting him again every day since then… but since I didn't know if you would be okay with it, I didn't set up anything else." Maura replied.

„Oh, okay. You should definitely set up something now. If he's so eager to get to know his grandfather"

Maura smiled „I'm proud of you, baby. I know how much it cost you to swallow your pride and talk to him"

„Well um… thank you" Jane replied.

„So what do you think: Back to talking about wedding plans?" Jane asked to change the subject.

Maura nodded eagerly. Jane smiled at Maura's enthusiasm. She knew that proposing to Maura would lead to this Maura. The Maura who could spend hours talking about flower arrangements, cakes, dresses and locations. And although Maura was trying to convince, both, her and Jane that all those things didn't really matter to her anymore, that she was perfectly happy as long she was able to marry Jane, Jane knew better.

„Do you know why Riley was so sure that you would wake up again?" Maura asked suddenly remembering this after Jane and her were talking about their wedding for so long.

Jane shook her head and looked curiously at Maura.

„She said that you're not gonna pass up the opportunity to marry me" Maura explained.

Jane laughed „ I guess she's right. There's nothing that could stop me from marrying you. Not even two 40 caliber bullets and a fall down a staircase." She said and kissed Maura.

* * *

**This chapter basically wrote itself. And I love how it turned out and I would really love to her some of your guys reviews. Again thank you for reading, I love you guys!**

**The chapter title is from the song "Darkness ahead and behind" by Milow**


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